ReneeGutzmann's Blog

When my son told me he was gay...I really felt I knew that deep down inside, before he told me. I was happy!! in one way, because he had finally come out, and I think about how much pain it caused him all these years, denying who he really was. This is a 25 year old man who is a sergeant in the army. My concern was how do I help him...what can I do to make this easier for him. I figured out there was nothing I could do, except love him.

I see past the form, of male and female...I love androgyny I think its beautiful. The angels I see are that way, some of them. I just think we are all becoming one sex, one race. No division. So when he told me this...about being gay it really didn't shock me. My son has always had a special light around him, even when he was a baby. I just wish I had known when he was younger so I could have helped him then. I ask myself...well..how could you have helped him? and I don't have an answer.

So now..I am his friend, and I listen..as he is dating, but still hiding it from the Army. I tell him what I think is important, and that I love him.

But inside I worry...because I am afraid my little red headed love, won't be accepted by people, just because of his sexual orientation. He wants to have children, and a special relationship and get married.

Will that happen? or will he be discriminated against his whole life? This is a lot tougher than I thought, only because I worry as a mother. But at the same time as a spiritual person, I know he has chosen this path, and only he must walk it. I can love him, and be there. But that's it!! Its weird, I want to protect him...but I know I can't.

I can still see him sitting on the floor in his room about 18 months old playing with his red hair sticking straight up, and his big green eyes, and his dark blue sweater, as I walk by he says mama, and smiles..that seems so long ago..when his smiles and laughs were all there was, just us together in mommy and baby love. Those times were so special to me.

Well you know...if you ask for things, and you work the energy, things are gonna happen. Yes...maam!!
About a month ago I started working the energy for selling our house. Realizing that I was holding the house, having a relationship with this house, loving it, taking care of it, and all the trees. It was very hard for me to let go of the house. I finally figured out, it was me holding the house, so I decided to end my relationship with the house...I ask the house, to find new buyers, buyers that the house would like. I also asked the trees around my house, which I have a special relationship with.
I did this energy work, with my heart chakra open, I would stand in front of the house, open my heart chakra, and let divine energy flow through my higher charkras, into my heart....out my heart chakra to the front of the door of the house and out and around and over the house. Telling the house how much I appreciated all it had done for all of us. I really did feel the connection change. 1 month later we have a really solid offer. They love the house.
But as I created my reality, another fear raised its ugly head, and said ahhh...yes but...but...but..where will you go? How is this all going to work in 30 days..your going to be stranded no home...for you...no home for your animals...WHAT WILL YOU DO? I have been working on this every day!! sometimes I wake up at 2:00 in the morning...panic stricken..about the animals, about us...keep looking, for a house.

I am looking to get in that place where I can relax and let it happen. I am trying. Meditation helps. This is a lesson....a lesson on staying centered no matter what craziness is around you!! staying true to who you really are as a co creator of our own reality. Here it is laid right in my lap....So I ask myself are you going to go with the flow, or are you going to gum it all up with stress, worry, fear.

well we will see....because here it comes like a freight train down a track..the change is coming no matter what..what will my perspective be?

What's it like being a medium? At times it can drive you crazy. You must be in a place of self love and balance, or you can have a heard time.

Rocky was a ghost I was seeing him everywhere he would be in the living room, I would see his name, everywhere. But, I couldn't make the connection as to why...until about 2 weeks later I received an email from a lady who said she wanted an aura painting and a reading, that she just had seen my work and had to contact me..that it was the one year anniversary of her beloved husband Rocky's death.

As soon as I read that email, it all came together, I wrote her back..... that yes...we were meant to meet, and that her beloved had already contacted me. We did the reading and Rocky came through very strong, he was determined to get his message across. His message was he was getting ready to move on. He was worried about her, they were in love since high school had two children together. She was having a difficult time with his death because he died to fast.

Rocky had gone out after coming home from work, he had received a phone call to deliver a horse trailer he had just sold. It was dark and raining, and the wife mentioned it might be dangerous, he went anyway, and was killed in a head on collision.

She was left with all the bills, children, and a broken heart.
Laura the wife, had told me things would move in the home, her hairbrush, keys, bowls, chairs, all kinds of things. Laura knew it was Rocky and I just confirmed it. She was in the middle of us in a small town, bible belt, and people she said...didn't have open minds...at least the her family.
She learned to let go of him, and she learned to love herself, to heal...and to move on, and to be more than she could ever dream of. To this day she stays in touch with me..and we laugh and cry about Rocky's love, and letting go..and believing in yourself.

How wonderful this experience is.. and brings us all together as one. What wonderful things we can accomplish.

Rocky even in death, came to help her!! to show her, that it was his time to move on. I think he was afraid she would stay in that place she was at, in the sadness. Once she relized that he was moving on, she let him go...so he could move through also.
love and light to you all

When I was a little girl, and yes...I was psychic then..I use to have monkeys in my room jumping on my bed. I would run out and yell the monkeys are jumping on my bed and I can't sleep. My dad just thinking he was placating me, would come in and clear the monkeys out, but he never really did, they just waited until he left and then out they would come again, jumping and playing. They did this for a long time, and then one day it just stopped, with the monkeys then it was airplanes. Years later I asked my very understanding, and patient mother if she remembered the monkeys? She stood there looking at me like I was from outer space, and well that's another story.

My lifelong friend Karen, called about 3 months ago, and I had forgotten about the monkeys, even though their still here, they aren't as active. But what was mind blowing was she said...you know Renee I remember you always talking about the monkeys on your bed. I laughed and laughed. My parents still to this day do not remember the monkeys. But my friend Karen did. She remembered me telling the monkeys there were two, a boy and a girl, to stop jumping on the bed. Karen never saw them.

I use to have a hard time sleeping when I was a kid...gee I wonder why?

Funny how you denye who you really are!! How sometimes with low self esteem, you think that what people tell you about yourself is true. When in reality they are only looking through their own energy at you.

I remember once a man told me, that I had dog !`%* colored brown eyes, and at that time in my life....and its hard for me to admit it devistated me. He was looking at me through his own energy (aura) energy field. His comments werent really about me they were about him.

Which leads me to the point, of people who sometimes think people who are psychic, are crazy, and I have been there.

Alot of women are psychic, and they are constantly, trying to balance there intuituion, with what other s think, through there own filters of reality. Remember you create your own reality, so the stronger you become as a person, and start to value who you are, your reality changes around you. The moment you start to believe in who you really are, life changes. Your life will never be the same.

Remember its their own energy, you create your filter, of reality, change it.

change you life.