rosekirkland's Blog

Dear BraveHeart Sisters,'
It's been a while since I've been on here. So much has happened. I have spent the last 1 1/2 years caring for my dad part time while he was in the nursing home after a mild stroke. We did not want to leave him alone if at all possible. So, my 3 sisters and I have shared our time with him off and on.

However, I finally lost him on into eternity on October 6. The funeral was on Oct. 11.TODAY would have been his 91st birthday. So, he missed having another birthday by about a month. The last three weeks have been very busy for us in winding up his business affairs although my brother is the trustee of the estate. I have sent out dozens and dozens of thank you cards, written the obituary, newspaper articles, as well as newspaper thank you's. There are so many advantages of having lived in a small community.

It has been a time of grief for me. However, I have had lots of comfort in having some supportive friends that understand the grief process. I feel so sorry for people that have never experienced loss and do not have the compassion or ability to offer their support.

Here is the obituary for more insight on this fabulous human being that I was so blessed to journey with while on earth. I miss you so much daddy.

http://www.webfh.com/fh/obituaries/obituary.cfm?o_id=330756&fh_id=10561&ck=1

As entrepreneurs, we are always changing. Daring to change our mindset, behaviors, and way of being is exciting. By being involved in an
"online turnkey business opportunity" we are always involved in working with other people. How we are “showing up” and using it as one of our “success strategies” for “changing the course of your life” is so important.

If you’re interacting with other people for example, you’re able to then give them your total attention, really listen to them, and to “be” with them. Relationships are all about “showing up” and being totally present with each other. The inability or unwillingness to do this is probably the main cause of relationship problems and conflicts. All it means is to use of your presence, be strong, kind, confident, and to be in the moment by not thinking about the past or what may happen in the future.

“Showing up” means that you have to prioritize your presence and it is a foundational practice on the direct path to awakening or transformation. You have to see the need and importance of it by connecting, making good eye contact, and really listening to each other. If two people in dialogue can do that, then they have the basis of a good, honest relationship and their communication can flow easily. Therefore, they can really see where the relationship wants to go and the depths to which they want—or perhaps don’t want—to take it.

However, what gets in the way of this depth of presence and communication, of course, is the world between our ears. This includes all the agendas, motives, or simply the mental and emotional baggage we bring to any encounter with another person. Our inner world includes our judgments, opinions, beliefs, assumptions, our unhealed areas, our past hurts, negative experiences, and our expectations.

Take for example: Expectations: Having certain expectations on a personal agenda can get in the way of authentic communication. This can put a damper on spontaneity in a relationship. Also, most people have expectations and are quite attached to them. When their expectations are not met, they become disappointed, frustrated, hurt, upset, or angry. Unmet or thwarted expectations probably cause more relationship conflicts, disagreements, and break-ups than anything does.

Yet, if you want to be free, move through life as an "enlightened”, “transformed” person, and to live happily; all of your expectations or attachments to them must be released. It is fine to have an occasional expectation in some situations; however, you can hold them without being attached to them.

Personal development in an “online turnkey business opportunity” is truly exciting because we are in the “process” of becoming more of who we already are. “Showing up” is truly a “SUCCESS STRATEGY” for being successful! Do you have the courage and are you strong enough to handle constructive criticism? Are you open to receiving feedback on how you are “showing up”? And, can you do it without getting defensive about your behavior? If so, you can become a very successful entrepreneur.

Has anyone ever pointed out one of your negative behaviors to you and given you some feedback as to how you “showing up”? Has this made you feel like you really do need to change?

Well, a few years ago, I did some phenomenal trainings at: www.millennium3education.com in Dallas, Texas. The trainings are all about transformation and we were given an extensive amount of feedback on how we were “showing up”.

Sometimes, it was very uncomfortable to hear this constructive criticism which could come across as being very harsh.

It is human nature to not want to hear the truth of how we are “BEING”. Sometimes, our dark shadow behaviors were pointed out on how we were “showing up” with our negative behaviors such as being manipulative, bossy, shy, arrogant, having a need to “be right”, being too talkative, shut-down, frumpy, plain Jane, unkept clothing, not listening etc…. were pointed out. However, because we can’t see how we are—we need feedback and that they did!

How we “show up” to the world and our way of “being” is one of the “success strategies” for creating a phenomenal life. It is a way of talking about our presence, and what it means to be truly present WITH PEOPLE in our lives. I remember one of my friends saying to me once: "So, Rose, how has life been showing up for you lately"? I replied by saying: "Well, what I’ve noticed is that how I “show up” for life is how it “shows up” for me."

My friend laughed, and acknowledged I had a good point. Reminding yourself to "show up" brings you fully into the moment and fully into life. The simple acts of sitting up straight, standing taller, speaking clearly, and looking someone in the eye are forms of how we are “showing up”. It means being very present with all of your senses by being alert. This can shift our energy dramatically; therefore, you’re much better prepared to deal with whatever the situation is.

Come back to read: A Success Strategy for “SHOWING UP”—(Part 2)

"You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you".---Brian Tracy

Wow! If somebody had just taught me this principle and concept when I was a child--how I would have not spent so much time reacting to other people. Also, I would not have spent so much time trying to change those situations that could not changed.

However, the truth is that I was supposed to learn this concept later in life which I did beginning in 1982 when my world fell apart. I "dared to change" and this mindset has made my life so much easier.

However, I still come across people that have not learned this success strategy. Victim mentality is so prevalent in our country as well as the issue of codepency where people want to control everything and have not learned to "live and let live".

Learning to master change in order to change the course of your life is so important. Change is a part of life and we also need to learn lessons of flexiblity and rigidity by letting go of the need to control those things you cannot control.

We’ve been taught that change is hard. Hard work that will make feel uncomfortable, unstable, and uneasy. Is it true? Well, I think it is really a matter of mind. We can choose to see change as difficult and resist it or we can embrace it and know that if we just go with; it will take us to places we’ve never been. Change is just that - change.

It’s an opportunity to learn something different, see something from a new perspective, and allow new opportunities to emerge. By giving change the meaning of it being difficult is just an illusion conjured up in your own mind. So, learning how to take responsibity for this attitude by only taking control of how we respond to change is what needs to be mastered... This strategy will help you succeed in relationships and you'll create "personal success" for your life.

ACTION STEP:
Be very honest with yourself and see if you are controlling your attitude towards what happens to you and learn to control that.

Rose Kirkland
BECOME A SAVVY ONLINE SHOPPER. Find bargain prices on everything. Instantly find what you’re looking for. Save thousands!
http://www.successwiththegenie.com

How to Write a Bio, Online Branding and Visibility, Powerful PR Tips, Social Media Strategies

Author: Nancy Marmolejo

How to Fix a Boring Bio- Part 1
By: Nancy Marmolejo on: Jan 1,2009

In: How to Write a Bio, Online Branding and Visibility, Powerful PR Tips, Social Media Strategies

http://vivavisibilityblog.com/how-to-fix-a-boring-bio-part-1/

At every moment, especially in times of challenges, each of us is confronted with an important choice. Will we allow ourselves to be controlled by our fears or will we choose instead to be guided out of faith? Many times, as individuals, each of us will be called to face these two choices. We’ll be challenged to walk the fine line between listening to fear and allowing it to stop us or to surrender to faith. The choice we make in that very moment will determine the destiny of our future.

Fear is a human emotion that informs us about potential danger. It urges us to protect ourselves, to defend what is ours, to guard our belongings, and our families. Yet, there comes a time when fear ceases to be of service especially when we’ve done all we can do about a challenge and the outcome of our situation is clearly out of our hands. Therefore, we must turn the situation over to something than ourselves and surrender to it to faith. (This has been challenging for me at times when I haven’t known what to do about a situation ! !

Surrendering to faith is an act of COURAGE which is a divine act that gives us access to realities beyond what we know. When we make choices rooted in faith, we trust that there is a power and an unseen force which is guiding us. We know that we’re being taken care of and that everything will “turn out fine.” Faith gives us the ability to look beyond our immediate circumstances and imagine new situations for our future. Faith gives us the strength and reassurance we need that leaves us bathed in the wisdom that we are NEVER alone. Therefore, it allows us to just trust and say, “Even though I feel scared or I’m not sure where I’m going, I am going to trust that everything will turn out in my highest good and to my best interest.”

Making the choice of faith is the foundation of our spiritual lives. When we make the choice to act from faith rather than fear, we’re able to view the world from a higher perspective. It invites us to believe in something we cannot see, feel, or know. When we choose to live in faith, we’re blessed with the support and cooperation of the Universe.

Questions to Ask Yourself:
1. Identify an area in your life where you are being held back by fear. Close your eyes and ask yourself, “What is the message that my fear is trying to give me?” What action would “fear” like me to take in order to protect myself?”

2. Next, notice if there is any area in your life that could benefit from a little more faith. Do you have enough faith to ask for what you need? Do you have enough faith to take a risk that may improve your situation? Are to ready to "take action"? Allow yourself to see what actions you could take this week to build your faith muscle, and commit to taking these faith steps.

3. Name a time when you had to make a choice between “FEAR” or “FAITH” and what was the gift in making the “FAITH” choice?????? “Dare to Change” by choosing to have faith!

What is your passion? We are hearing so many people speak of “passion” nowadays to make your goals and dreams happen. The difference between a goal and a dream is not just setting a time frame for its attainment and then "making it happen." More and more people are beginning to realize that their old aspirations that they thought were going to make them happy actually make them very unhappy. Therefore, this new way of thinking has begun in large numbers and people are returning to the dreams of their hearts. Some call it "Living with a Purpose," others refer to it as "Right Livelihood."

Real dreams come from your heart and soul. Your passions in life are inseparably linked with your heart which is the place where dreams come from. Knowing this and weaving this principle into your life will make profound changes for you, your loved ones, and your friends. You will feel different, more alive, more passionate, and more real!

Realizing your dreams is a choice. You can decide to take those actions that transform your dreams into reality.

You might ask yourself these questions:
1.How do I know what my dreams are and how do I act on them?
2.What is that makes my heart sing?
3.What have I wanted to do for years but, haven't done because of some obstacle or belief that I perceived?
4.What do I love to do?

If you are passionate about it—then you know that there are people that are becoming very “WEALTHY” by living their passions. They have not settled for just a job. Instead, they have found a way to make a living doing what they love!

Here are some suggestions to keep in mind:
1.The best time to sense your dream is when you first awake in the morning or when you are in a quiet place-- preferably out in nature.
2.When your mind is calm, clarity results. Some of the most successful people in the world know this and they make their major decisions from a calm mind.
3.Successful people value their “inner wisdom” and listen to their intuition about what they want.

However, some people insist on working that “day job” instead of stepping out in faith and going with their passion.

So, ask yourself:
1.Are you really happy?
2.Are you looking at outside sources for fulfillment rather than looking on the inside of yourself. You must always pay attention to your feelings. The reason for this is because deep inside you is an incredible source of creativity and imagination that you are only beginning to tap. Setting goals is fine; but, “HOW” do you really feel when you accomplish them? Do you feel rewarded? Or do you just pass them off, like another old challenge that’s been met?
3.Do you actually take the time to acknowledge the small successes that you've created in your life? Do you take time to pat yourself on the back especially when no one else does?

You must know that real happiness and satisfaction in life depend upon how you embrace what you are passionate about. Only by embracing your passions can you achieve the happiness you are destined for. It is critical that your use your “PASSION” to “change the course of your life”. If creating wealth is important to you, an internet marketing business (such as blogging or participating in social media) can be a place where you can use your passion.

"And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" --Anais Nin

What if your belief about this prevented you from effectively helping a larger number of people to change their present circumstances? Would you be strong enough to point out the belief that you could see was not to their highest good? Throughout my years as a counselor and in working with people in a home-business I know that helping someone change their beliefs can only be changed if they are ready to change.

"The degree that a person WILL change is based on two things:

1.The degree of DISCOMFORT they are FEELING in the present moment about their present circumstances (as they are talking about and feeling it).
2.The degree of their desire (FEELING) to change those circumstances.

People make changes based MOSTLY on feelings and not on logic. Unless you're prepared to allow people to talk about and express how they FEEL about their present circumstances, they're unlikely to explore making a change---IF making a change is what they are looking for. If someone does make a change based on logic-- the research shows that shows he/she is unlikely to continue in a home-business or “online turnkey business opportunity”. They will probably quit. Change must come from “the heart”.

The essential difference between feelings and logic is that feelings lead to action while logic leads to conclusions. Both of them are important; however feelings comprise 90% of the motivation for them to change their beliefs and therefore, their results. Therefore, it is important to challenge your own beliefs.

By challenging and changing your own beliefs about talking with anyone, anywhere, anytime, you can dramatically increase the number of people you can effectively assist to "change the course of your life". We must be strong enough to challenge other people’s beliefs and it is done lovingly by wanting the highest and best for them. Seeing them as the person they could be is critical and challenging the beliefs that can “get in their way” of success is so important. How do you feel about challenging someone that has beliefs that are “standing in their way”?

Do you ever listen to some of the beliefs that people share with you and think that some of these people just don’t “get it” and clearly have “no clue” what they are saying and speaking? They don’t realize the power of their spoken words and don’t understand the Law of Attraction and what they are attracting with their negative beliefs and by using the words (DON’T, NOT, and NO) so frequently in their conversations.

Years ago, I read the book, “The Game of Life”, “The Power of the Spoken Word”, “Your Word Is Your Wand”, and “The Secret of Success” by Florence Scovel Shinn. Throughout the years I have read it again several times. She speaks so strongly about the power of the ‘spoken word’ and the words we speak that have the ability to speak life or death into any situation.

To clarify what I mean by the power of the spoken word and distorted beliefs is that this week I received an interesting email from this person. She was talking about her belief about a certain situation in her life and how it just was not working. I couldn’t believe what I was reading and knew I needed to challenge her about that “distorted” belief that would get in the way for her to be able to “change the course of her life” and be successful.

Asking questions about how people “feel” about their personal situation is a question, in my opinion, generally reserved for personal relationships. It isn’t the type of question that comes up frequently in a conversation with someone you’re speaking to for the first time in a business conversation. However, that is NOT my belief simply because I believe in asking strangers to expand on what they are saying if I see it as a detriment.

Therefore, I don’t allow that belief to stand in the way of me communicating with everybody. I believe that if God brought that person into my life then they have something to learn from me and I have something to learn from them even it means challenging their unhealthy belief.

Come back and read: Challenge the Beliefs That Can Get in Your Way—(Part 2)

"I am in the world to change the world”. —Mureil Rukreyser in her poem, “Women as Market”

In a very real sense, each of us is in the world to change it. Perhaps it's just our little corner of the world in our own immediate family. So, we raise a child to be a caring health care professional, a scientist, or a teacher. Perhaps we take on an issue and in some small way; we influence the masses like Martin Luther King, Jr. did with the Civil Rights Movement. This movement was due to all of those who supported the movement. That change has affected where we now are in the world. For example: We’ve just had an African-American become President in the United States! This happened because some people wanted change 40 years ago. Sometimes, the change is very slight in our immediate world, but is still very significant. When we change-- the entire world changes.

For example: One person can decide that they will no longer allow anger to control some of their reactions. Then, that person doesn’t allow themselves to get angry in traffic; and instead allows someone to move into their lane ahead of them. That new idea, courtesy, or change catches on and affects someone else. The world is so tied together that no one truly operates alone. Our actions and reactions affect everybody else. We just don’t realize how powerful we are. When we change, everybody and everything else around us changes!

For many years, I’ve literally seen people change their lives dramatically for the better. It was as if they had become a different person entirely. Here is what each of us can do if we want our world to improve, to live a more productive happy life, or if we want more prosperity, or better relationships: WE CAN DECIDE we want to truly self-actualize and “BE” the change we want to see in the world.

EXERCISE:
At the close of each day think about the good deeds, you’ve done during the day. They can be very simple. They may include the meal you prepared in love for your loved ones, the extra effort you took, the person you let go ahead of you in the crowded busy supermarket, or the door you held open for someone. Think about as many as you can remember each evening at bedtime. If you are so inclined, it’s beneficial to write down how these little good deeds made you FEEL. The most important aspect of this exercise is to remember the good deeds and focus on the GOOD feeling that doing them provided. Take these thoughts and feelings into your sleep with an attitude of gratitude. Adopt an attitude that you are truly grateful for the opportunity to help others and give the service of yourself.

Doing this may seem ridiculous and some of you may have already objected with thoughts such as:
1. "What about the guy who doesn't appreciate what I do”?
2. “What about all those people out there who just don't care”?

First of all, you can’t control what anybody out there does or thinks. We are only responsible for ourselves. Then, remain focused on what YOU can contribute to the world. It’s a choice you are making that will only attract more of what you want and will serve in a self-fulfilling way.

In other words, focus on how good it feels when someone helps you for no reason. Take this feeling and give it to others with an attitude of contributing value. When you do this, without the expectation of reward, the real rewards come back to you.

Life truly does get better and better one person at a time--and “IT ALWAYS BEGINS WITH US”!

"We are not helpless dolls...we do not behave as we behave by accident."-- Ernst G. Beier

How does change for us begin? Well, first we have to be aware! Most people know they have a problem and want to understand their problem; but, they don't know what to do about it, or they feel powerless to change.

Awareness is the FIRST STEP to making a change; however, many people are still far from making a commitment to change because they are stuck in this stage. They spend years telling themselves that they are going to change "one of these days." Before they know it, they look back, the years have flown by, and they wonder what happened. How did they get to this place? Did they realize that they had a choice and if so, what choice did they make?

My opinion is that fear of failure keeps many people stuck in this stage or it could be fear of success. They hide from the truth by telling themselves that they're waiting for the "perfect" weight-loss program, the perfect time to do something, or the perfect person that will do it for them.

We hear such comments such as, "I'll change when the time is right”. People in this stage are of the self-change cycle. There will never be a "right time," of course, but they haven't been able to break out of their verbal cage.

Some people in this stage are never able to make a serious commitment to change, even though their life depends on it. We are all familiar with the day-to-day experiences and struggles of ordinary people who are stuck in this stage. The decision to make a change starts with choice. Then, the choice starts with the commitment. Then, the commitment comes before the clarity of how to change…

Below is an article that Jim Rohn wrote on change: I LOVE IT!

Change Begins With Choice
Jim Rohn

Any day we wish, we can discipline ourselves to change it all. Any day we wish, we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Any day we wish; we can start a new activity. Any day we wish; we can start the process of life change. We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year.

We can also do nothing. We can pretend rather than perform. And if the idea of having to change ourselves makes us uncomfortable, we can remain as we are. We can choose rest over labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence.

The choices are ours to make. However, while we curse the effect, we continue to nourish the cause. As Shakespeare uniquely observed, "The fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves." We created our circumstances by our past choices.

We have both the ability and the responsibility to make better choices beginning today. Those who are in search of the good life do not need more answers or more time to think things over to reach better conclusions.

We cannot allow our errors in judgment, repeated every day, to lead us down the wrong path. We must keep coming back to those basics that make the biggest difference in how our life works out. Then we must make the very choices that will bring life, happiness and joy into our daily lives.

In addition, if I may be so bold to offer my last piece of advice for someone seeking and needing to make changes in their life… If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree. You have the ability to totally transform every area in your life… and it all begins with your very own power of choice.

There are huge changes happening in our world right now. Things don't look the same as they did a few years ago. People around us are afraid and everyone is wondering what's happening. Are we going into an economic depression? Will we be able to survive? How will this change affect our lives?

Change is scary for most people. No one likes to stand in the face of the unknown and they wonder if they’ll be safe or happy. However, even though change can be challenging, sometimes change is necessary. Sometimes, the old ways have to die for the new to be born. Sometimes, even though we fret and panic; when all is said and done, the change we feared was actually the best thing that ever happened to us.

Have you noticed that the structures in our world are failing right now? Have you ever wondered why this is happening? Could it possibly be that there is a new level of consciousness that is necessary for our world to allow a new reality to emerge? Well, that’s what I think. The reality that we are experiencing in our world right now is based on selfishness and greed. That reality is not working and is falling apart, while structures that are built on love and peace are growing rapidly.

In other words, there’s a new level of consciousness that’s quietly spreading; and only those that are in tune with this quiet force can recognize it at this time. The recent election of Barack Obama signifies a new level of consciousness emerging. Those of us that are aware of this spiritual energy recognize that “change has come” to the world; although some may argue with this.

However, as resistant as some people may be for this change, deep-down they know that the current situations and some structures in the world are NOT working. Therefore, we must allow this new reality to emerge. We must each be the change that the world needs.

There are no mistakes in life. Therefore, I suggest that we “go with the flow” and trust that change is coming to the world.

Suggestion: Let’s allow everything to break down so, that the new can emerge. “Change is Good”!

I used to say, "I sure hope things will change." Then I learned that the only way things are going to change for me is when I change."-----Jim Rohn

Most of us have dissatisfactions in our lives at times. However, as much as we wish things were different, we are still resistant to doing something about it to change the dissatisfaction. Change is difficult for many people--especially those of us who grew up in dysfunctional families; simply because we like to stay in our comfort zone.

Most of us do not like to feel uncomfortable because it feels good to have that feeling of security and things being the same as dysfunctional as it may be. It gives us a sense of knowingness that we know how things stand; and we like that.

We prefer things to be safe and secure. Even little changes that we choose for ourselves can often require months of emotional adjustment-- like having a baby or moving to a new area. However, when change happens that's out of our control such as being laid off from a job or a partner asking for a divorce; we often feel overwhelmed. In addition, when the world economic structure falls apart, like it has recently, it can look like an insurmountable crisis.

When you're not aware, change can make you feel worried, stressed, and uncomfortable. RELAX!

On an unconscious level, change can make you feel vulnerable and out of control, which reminds you of negative experiences from childhood when you were small and vulnerable. If you're not aware, you can unknowingly go into defensive, reactive behavior, expecting the worst and protecting yourself from your perceived enemies.

Fortunately, with awareness you can transform those negative responses. You can choose, instead, to see change as a gift which can “change the course of your life”. In addition, by making that choice, you can open to the amazing opportunities that change offers you and that is to-- learn and grow in the process.

So, what can you do when the world you know falls apart? Why not learn to ride the waves of life instead of trying to control everything? Yeah, that’s right—don’t resist.

Two of the things that you can do to make peace with change are:

1. Surrender and let the Universe take charge of your life. The Universe knows much better than us what will be for our best and highest good.

2. Stay open to the life lessons that the Universe wants to teach you. The Universe always wants you to learn about self-acceptance, self-esteem, and self-actualization. In other words, let yourself trust that everything is in divine order for your life.

Whatever you do, don't forget to stay open to the good the Universe has in store for you. When you look back ten years from now, you may be saying, "Even though I thought that the world had turned upside down; those were the best years of my life!"

Change is always working for our good!