RoyaSpeaks

Spring Cleansing…

Ahhh…I love, love, love the Spring. For me, it so fresh and so clean, rejuvenating, and joyous. When most people think of Spring they think of cleaning out their closets and drawers, and, I too, think of it as a time for cleaning out the house, the car, and wherever else I have an accumulation of important un~ necessities. However, I also find it a great time to clean out more than the usual sorts of clutter. For me, it’s also a time to clean out my mind and body.


The BODY
Every year, for the past few years, I take the opportunity that spring and summer bring me, and I cleanse~detox my body. Depending on how I feel, I usually do about a week fast to cleanse out some of the toxins that have accumulated in my body from the previous year. This includes, but is not limited to: environmental pollution (wiffs of cigarettes, car exhaust, etc.), refined white flours and sugars, cell phone~microwave~computer radiation, mercury, caffeine, alcohol, chemicals in foods~drinks, genetically engineered foods, hormones, antibiotics, additives, MSG, and whatever else may be floating around that we aren’t aware of. I realize that a week fast barely skims the surface of what my body has hoarded and absorbed over the years, and yet, each year when I do this I am that much more aware of these toxins over the course of the next year. This year, I am consciously aware that I did 1000% better than the previous year in terms of what I ate and drank: more organic, grass-fed meats and organic fruits and vegetables, tons of water, less white-refined sugars and flours, less to none processed foods, etc. etc.

Knowing this, I feel confident that each spring cleansing will be an easier and easier rite of passage with the idea that it will release the other toxins, I can’t control, with much less effort.

FIRST FAST
I started fasting when I went to Thailand years ago and did a 7day fast that included yoga, meditation, and colemas (self-administered ‘colonics’). In all my years of living on this Earth, I have never felt as radiant as I did after that fast. I remember using that word too, ‘radiant’ as I felt alive; a rebirth if you will. It was such a beautiful feeling, I felt glorious, and since then I have chosen to fast once or twice a year. With each fast, I feel so much lighter, so much freer, so clean, and so new: A starting over again for the next year. With each new year I become more conscious of what I consume, ingest, and take-in.

The MIND
Along with fasting, I also acknowledge what behaviors do not serve me, what thoughts don’t make me feel good, and what emotional patterns inhibit my growth. In the past, this meant releasing any friendships that were toxic and energetically draining, releasing obligation, fears, pressures, societal~cultural ideals, limiting belief systems, and projections from others. Getting to know myself was the number one priority and I found it difficult to do so with everyone else’s ideas and beliefs that were engrained into my system. How can any one learn who they are when there is so much conditioning going on? I realized that many of my beliefs came from parents, family, friends, movies, news, media, and teachers, counselors, religious/political ideals... How could I learn my own thoughts, beliefs, and opinions, when I was unconsciously absorbing and conforming to everyone else’s?

I began to deconstruct my belief systems. This was a powerful tool for me to begin to learn who I was. I would begin questioning and becoming curious as to why I believed the things that I did. This started out with little things like: Why do I like Ice Cream so much? all the way to my religious~political beliefs. I began to deconstruct and question and become curious about my current thoughts on the subject. I asked myself: Do I still really believe this? Does this label truly represent who I am? Why do I need a label? It was also important for me to realize that what served me 10 years ago, may not serve me now.

I was a Pescetarian for almost 10 years and only recently decided to question why I was one to begin with at all. Well, 10 years ago, I didn’t eat much meat, was mostly vegetarian, and took a nutrition class in college stressing that our teeth weren’t built for eating meat (And yes, the torturing of animals, the antibiotics and hormones they injected in the animals, etc.) At the time my perception was that meat was not essential for my own survival, and this belief served me well back then. My body was totally different and not eating meat was beneficial for me during this period of my life…however, as my body was forced to acclimate to another country (when I moved to Korea), not eating meat became very detrimental for me. My body was yelling at me to take better care of it and provide it with much needed protein, but my stubborn beliefs ultimately caused serious damage to my body which then began to deteriorate. Ultimately, my body knew best, but my mental beliefs were a conflict of interest.

Deconstructing my belief systems didn’t stop there because I also went through my political/religious/spiritual beliefs, ideas, thoughts, wants and desires as well. It was a process, no doubt, but for me, very worthwhile and extremely liberating. Today, I am a totally different person than I was 10 years ago. To hold the same beliefs I had then, now, would be very limiting and would stunt my growth. I am not saying that every person’s views will change as mine did, but I found that it’s important to realize why you believe things. Otherwise, you might keep on believing them because that is all you know. Wouldn’t it be nice to learn something new about yourself this year? To discover that you are more than you think you are?

The PROCESS
1-Choose a belief
2-Ask yourself where does this belief come from? Who taught me this? When and where did I first begin to believe this?
3-How did it serve me then?
4-Does it serve me now?
5-Do I still really believe this?
6-Research your views (as they are now) and see if it really defines you.
7-What do I believe now?
8-Does this limit me? Is there still more to learn?

Be curious!! Ask questions!

Spring 2010 Cleanse
Master Cleanse

This Monday (March 15, 2010), I will begin a 5+ day fast. I am doing the Master Cleanse in a way that suits me best (although you can get the book and see what feels good to you).

Organic Lemons
Ceyenne Pepper
Water (the purest possible)
Organic Maple Syrup Grade A

I use everything as Organic as I possibly can. If your going to clean yourself out…It’s best not to have things that contain any additives or chemicals, which would defeat the purpose in my opinion. Please do not use sink water, but splurge this week and get some Voss or Figi or any water that is filtered and that tastes good to you. You can use Palm Sugar or Agave Nectar in lieu of the maple syrup if you want a sugar alternative. I don’t put in recipe amounts…I just add a little of this and a little of that to where the concoction taste good to me, although, I would say don’t overdue it on the maple syrup. ☺

Ease up on your food intake during the previous days leading up to the fast, that way the Monday start-up won’t be such an extreme experience. Ease yourself into it, and on the Sunday before you begin, eat very, very light and you may begin the concoction. During the week, I just drink and drink throughout the day. I don’t worry about having certain amounts at certain times, if I feel hunger I drink!

When it comes to exercise, be very kind to yourself. Do some yoga, Pilates, or walk around the neighborhood or beach, maybe a small hike, or movement to music. This is not a time for extreme exercise. Don’t overdue anything, keep stress at bay, meditate, contemplate, question, create inquiry. Explore emotions that may be coming up for you, pay attention to your dreams and day dreams, get a massage, facial, or take a bath with Epson salt…This is your time to detoxify, discover and love you.

Also, if this feels like something you want to try, I highly recommend not telling others, and/or being very prepared for their opposing ‘knowledge’ and fears that they will project onto you. You want to feel good doing what feels good to you; don’t allow other people’s ‘hidden agendas’ to hinder your wants and desires. This would also be a great rebirth for someone who doesn’t do things b/c of others peoples’ projections. Be your own person again, do what feels good to you; don’t worry about how your doing this might affect others. Only you are with you 24hours a day, everyday. And ONLY you know what is best for you. ☺

Hi everyone. I am in the process now of creating a workshop for women to empower and honor themselves, at what can be a questioning time, during the month of February~or Valentine's Day. Please join me and others if the description below may pertain to you.

*Your Valentine’s Day Creation*

What is Valentine’s Day? As we celebrate it today, it seems to be a day for lovers and partners to come together and recognize, appreciate, and remember each other as a romantic relationship.

But, what does that mean to the percentage of us who do not have partners or, the ‘ideal’ partner? What are we supposed to do and how are we supposed to feel? Especially when we want to be in a relationship?

I decided to create a workshop where we can explore our beliefs, wants and desires, and what may be blocking us from finding our perfect partner. This workshop is to empower women to explore what they DO want and to redirect them to a positive place during this holiday.

I know many women who take this holiday and use it as an excuse to make themselves feel miserable. Their inner victim emerges and says, “Why me?” “Why can’t I have a boyfriend?” “What’s wrong with me?” These disempowering questions you ask yourself just don’t serve you. Why not instead, take this holiday and all it means to you, and decide that by next Valentines you will have a healthy, joyous, and intimate relationship that serves you well?

Consider for a moment, that you have the power now to create what you want. Join me and other women to reconnect with this power. Through a variety of group and class work, you will release limiting beliefs, create a Partner-Manifestation-List, and get a glimpse of who you really are and what you want. Empower yourself this year and create the dream Valentines for next year.

This workshop is a fun way to gain an understanding of what you want in a partner. This process will also help you explore more of who you are, what you want, and why you want it.

*This class is for women only
*This class is for all women, single or otherwise

Roya Daizadeh is a Relationship Coach for Women. Upon the realization that she wanted to work with people one-on-one, she underwent the AsOneCoaching holistic life coach program and became certified.

Roya now resides in Northern California where she is obtaining her Masters Degree in Consciousness and Transformative Studies from John F. Kennedy University and expanding her Relationship Coaching business, LivingPresence,Inc. Her favorite part of the day is empowering women and guiding them towards ultimate fulfillment.

Contact info:
(925) 478-1592
www.royadaizadeh.com

Location:

Malaya Center for Health & Healing
www.malayacenter.com

395 Civic Dr Ste C
Pleasant Hill, CA 94523

Hello Everyone,
If you live in LA and want to meet the author of Reality Creation 101 and get your book signed...visit The Mystic Journey Book Store on Abbot Kinney in Venice.

11/27 Book Signing w/ Chris Pinkley

"Reality Creation 101"

When: Friday November 27th
Time: 7-9pm
Where: The Mystic Journey Book Store
http://www.mysticjourneybookstore.com/index.php


“Reality Creation 101"

“Sometimes in order to create what you want, you have to get rid of what you don’t want. I like this book because it addresses the difficulties that people can face in life. It doesn’t take the reader for granted.”- Dr. Joe Vitale author of the #1 best seller The Attractor Factor

“Reality Creation 101 is a beautifully written book with a practical step-by-step process for a more fulfilling life. Regardless of where one may be on the spiritual path, new insights will certainly be found.”- John Randolph Price author of the #1 best seller The Super Beings

Are we consciously curious about why we want kids?

I’m curious why we want children; not in a condescending way, but in a inquisitive sort of way. Recently, I have witnessed an outbreak of children being born and I'm wondering where all this is coming from. I'm curious if we really know why we want kids? I get projected on a lot about having children, mostly because of my age, and that's what triggered my curiousity and this blog. Where does the actual yearning stem from?

Maternal Instincts: I think about how I was growing up, playing with dolls, always wanting to be a mom…but where did that come from? I"m wondering if I associated just wanting to be an adult with being a mom; that all adult women were moms. I’m sure there is some basic maternal instinct, but really, is that instinct still really rooted in us or are we creating a justification for having kids? I mean, we are no longer truly intuned with the earth, we can’t feel when a tsunamis coming, we can’t sniff the wind and become aware that a predator is stalking us, (at least not many of us), we don't need a dozen kids to plow the fields anymore, and the newest priority is getting a tummy tuck right after the baby is born.. so how intuned are we, really, to our instincts?

AGE: We are at that age; you know, our thirties... And we all know what upsetting possibilities could happen if you have a child after 35. And I get that, and I can research the data, but to have a child because of your age seems like a total contradiction to the maternal instinct reasoning. I'm curious about having a kid because of one's age. I know that there must be a want, a desire there to even think about having kids, but if your age is the fine line that makes it or breaks it…I would be curious about that.

Simply b/c: And yet, there are many egoic needs, unconscious wanting, conditioning and limiting belief systems... "saving" a marriage, that's what we are supposed to do, pressure from friends and family...

I think that all reasons are just as good as others, but at the same time, I’m wondering if we are really consciously curious of our actions. Are we really conscious when it comes to creating another life~ the importance of it? Does the yearning come from a soul level/ heart level or a surface level? I'm wondering if many women are having kids because of the pressure that comes with it. Are we are afraid to say no?

I just recently came about this article in Marie Claire; it’s findings really intrigued me. It demystifies the beliefs we have about having families and in fact mentioned that: "Dr. Phil surveyed 20,000 parents, and a third of them said that if they knew then what they know now, they probably wouldn't have started a family." (article included at end of blog) So what happens to those kids?

Having read the article just makes me that much more curious. I’ve heard the clichéd response: “you’re really never ready to have a child.” And I can see that as being true to a degree…but I also can see spending some time being curious as to why you really want one in the first place. Is it about consciously being able to guide and cultivate a soul, allowing him/her to pursue their purpose and be their ultimate potential or is it about projecting your beliefs onto them; is it about the selfish needs and wants that really have nothing to do with raising a child; is it about wanting to create ‘good Samaritans’ or good citizens for our country...creating modern day Ghandi's?

I don’t believe in good and bad/right or wrong; whatever comes up for you is the right choice no matter what. …however, I do believe in doing things CONSCIOUSLY. And being curious of our thoughts, emotions, and actions is a conscious leap towards being true to yourself. When you realize where the yearning is coming from that it an important step to your evolution and making conscious decisions. It's also never too late to be curious about anything: including kids, marriage, relationships, family, school, jobs, how to raise your kids and the decisions you make based on their needs and your own. Curiosity never ends....it's the unfolding of the unknown that makes it interesting.


To Breed or Not to Breed?
Yes, we live in a baby-obsessed nation. When do the tabloids not run craptastic cover stories on Octomom, Kate Gosselin, or Brangelina's brood? Then there's the tsunami of celeb-mom photos — Kate Hudson, Halle Berry, Gwen Stefani, toting their stylish tots like the latest It bag. It's enough to make a childless woman feel like an alien. "There's a stigma, especially if women are childless by choice instead of by circumstance," says Laura S. Scott, the 47-year-old married and kid-free author of the new book Two Is Enough. "Childlessness is perceived as being selfish, with a tragic outcome — you'll die alone with 10 cats." But sometimes having babies isn't all it's cracked up to be. We asked Scott — who talked to experts, parents, and 171 childless folk for her book — to bust myths about parenthood.

ALL WOMEN HAVE THE MATERNAL INSTINCT. "We think we'll get this burning urge," Scott says. "But many women never feel a desire to have kids, ever."

PARENTHOOD MAKES YOU A BETTER PERSON. "Better than who? Oprah? Gandhi?"

PARENTING IS, BY DEFINITION, REWARDING. For many, yes. For all? No. Says Scott, "Dr. Phil surveyed 20,000 parents, and a third of them said that if they knew then what they know now, they probably wouldn't have started a family."

IT'S DIFFERENT WHEN THEY'RE YOURS. "If you don't like being around kids, you're unlikely to be more tolerant if they're yours — especially when they throw a fit at Walmart."

PARENTING IS THE PATH TO MATURITY. "Our parents were raised to think this, and society clings to the notion," says Scott. "But let's face it: Having kids doesn't guarantee mature behavior." Ever see a dad go berserk on a Little League ref?

A BABY WILL STRENGTHEN THE MARRIAGE. "Research shows that marital satisfaction goes way down — particularly for women — after the birth of the first child," she says. "It doesn't return to honeymoon levels till the kids leave home."

YOU'LL REGRET NOT HAVING KIDS. "Studies don't show any widespread regret among the childless by choice. A lot of thought goes into the decision," says Scott. And if you need a kid fix, you can always be a mentor.

KIDS OFFER SECURITY WHEN YOU'RE OLD. "Grown children are often hundreds of miles away," Scott notes. "To really guarantee your well-being, long-term health insurance is a better bet."

AAre we consciously curious about why we want kids?

I’m curious why we want children; not in a condescending way, but in a inquisitive sort of way. Recently, I have witnessed an outbreak of children being born and I'm wondering where all this is coming from. I'm curious if we really know why we want kids? I get projected on a lot about having children, mostly because of my age, and that's what triggered my curiousity and this blog. Where does the actual yearning stem from?

Maternal Instincts: I think about how I was growing up, playing with dolls, always wanting to be a mom…but where did that come from? I"m wondering if I associated just wanting to be an adult with being a mom; that all adult women were moms. I’m sure there is some basic maternal instinct, but really, is that instinct still really rooted in us or are we creating a justification for having kids? I mean, we are no longer truly intuned with the earth, we can’t feel when a tsunamis coming, we can’t sniff the wind and become aware that a predator is stalking us, (at least not many of us), we don't need a dozen kids to plow the fields anymore, and the newest priority is getting a tummy tuck right after the baby is born.. so how intuned are we, really, to our instincts?

AGE: We are at that age; you know, our thirties... And we all know what upsetting possibilities could happen if you have a child after 35. And I get that, and I can research the data, but to have a child because of your age seems like a total contradiction to the maternal instinct reasoning. I'm curious about having a kid because of one's age. I know that there must be a want, a desire there to even think about having kids, but if your age is the fine line that makes it or breaks it…I would be curious about that.

Simply b/c: And yet, there are many egoic needs, unconscious wanting, conditioning and limiting belief systems... "saving" a marriage, that's what we are supposed to do, pressure from friends and family...

I think that all reasons are just as good as others, but at the same time, I’m wondering if we are really consciously curious of our actions. Are we really conscious when it comes to creating another life~ the importance of it? Does the yearning come from a soul level/ heart level or a surface level? I'm wondering if many women are having kids because of the pressure that comes with it. Are we are afraid to say no?

I just recently came about this article in Marie Claire; it’s findings really intrigued me. It demystifies the beliefs we have about having families and in fact mentioned that: "Dr. Phil surveyed 20,000 parents, and a third of them said that if they knew then what they know now, they probably wouldn't have started a family." (article included at end of blog) So what happens to those kids?

Having read the article just makes me that much more curious. I’ve heard the clichéd response: “you’re really never ready to have a child.” And I can see that as being true to a degree…but I also can see spending some time being curious as to why you really want one in the first place. Is it about consciously being able to guide and cultivate a soul, allowing him/her to pursue their purpose and be their ultimate potential or is it about projecting your beliefs onto them; is it about the selfish needs and wants that really have nothing to do with raising a child; is it about wanting to create ‘good Samaritans’ or good citizens for our country...creating modern day Ghandi's?

I don’t believe in good and bad/right or wrong; whatever comes up for you is the right choice no matter what. …however, I do believe in doing things CONSCIOUSLY. And being curious of our thoughts, emotions, and actions is a conscious leap towards being true to yourself. When you realize where the yearning is coming from that it an important step to your evolution and making conscious decisions. It's also never too late to be curious about anything: including kids, marriage, relationships, family, school, jobs, how to raise your kids and the decisions you make based on their needs and your own. Curiosity never ends....it's the unfolding of the unknown that makes it interesting.


To Breed or Not to Breed?
Yes, we live in a baby-obsessed nation. When do the tabloids not run craptastic cover stories on Octomom, Kate Gosselin, or Brangelina's brood? Then there's the tsunami of celeb-mom photos — Kate Hudson, Halle Berry, Gwen Stefani, toting their stylish tots like the latest It bag. It's enough to make a childless woman feel like an alien. "There's a stigma, especially if women are childless by choice instead of by circumstance," says Laura S. Scott, the 47-year-old married and kid-free author of the new book Two Is Enough. "Childlessness is perceived as being selfish, with a tragic outcome — you'll die alone with 10 cats." But sometimes having babies isn't all it's cracked up to be. We asked Scott — who talked to experts, parents, and 171 childless folk for her book — to bust myths about parenthood.

ALL WOMEN HAVE THE MATERNAL INSTINCT. "We think we'll get this burning urge," Scott says. "But many women never feel a desire to have kids, ever."

PARENTHOOD MAKES YOU A BETTER PERSON. "Better than who? Oprah? Gandhi?"

PARENTING IS, BY DEFINITION, REWARDING. For many, yes. For all? No. Says Scott, "Dr. Phil surveyed 20,000 parents, and a third of them said that if they knew then what they know now, they probably wouldn't have started a family."

IT'S DIFFERENT WHEN THEY'RE YOURS. "If you don't like being around kids, you're unlikely to be more tolerant if they're yours — especially when they throw a fit at Walmart."

PARENTING IS THE PATH TO MATURITY. "Our parents were raised to think this, and society clings to the notion," says Scott. "But let's face it: Having kids doesn't guarantee mature behavior." Ever see a dad go berserk on a Little League ref?

A BABY WILL STRENGTHEN THE MARRIAGE. "Research shows that marital satisfaction goes way down — particularly for women — after the birth of the first child," she says. "It doesn't return to honeymoon levels till the kids leave home."

YOU'LL REGRET NOT HAVING KIDS. "Studies don't show any widespread regret among the childless by choice. A lot of thought goes into the decision," says Scott. And if you need a kid fix, you can always be a mentor.

KIDS OFFER SECURITY WHEN YOU'RE OLD. "Grown children are often hundreds of miles away," Scott notes. "To really guarantee your well-being, long-term health insurance is a better bet."



http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/relationship-issues/articles/childfree-by-choice?click=main_sr

Eliminate the Fear Factor: How To Get the Life You Want
OCT 28, 2009

There’s nothing to fear but fear itself. Yet for many people, this seems to be enough to keep from realizing their full potential.



FEAR.

What a scary word; I think of it and I cringe.

Things don’t change because of this word. This word is the main reason we stay in the same relationships, same patterns, same jobs, same everything. We fear, fear, fear. It is scary and our pain-bodies love it.

As soon as we feel like we can change something, our pain-body freaks out and says, “Oh, I don’t think so! Feed me fear, I must stay with you. You cannot let me go.”

Fear inhibits us from moving forward; from being ‘risky.’ We were given this present from our families, friends, and the media.

Oh, happy birthday, here is my gift: fear. I have TONS of it and I shall now project all my fears onto you. Did you know that we are in a recession? Did you know that quitting your job now is the stupidest thing you could do? It doesn’t matter if you are ready to slit your wrists, keep on working at the job you hate, because otherwise you will end up a jobless, unpaid loser. You must play it safe.

Oh, yes, I know he beats you, and cheats on you, but how are you going to support yourself on your own? Won’t you feel lonely? Are you sure you want to leave him? But, he’s so nice when I’m around…

Do you realize that you are in the same relationships over and over again? Maybe a different guy, but same scenerio? Or, does your cycle create aloneness all the time?

My point is simple. We live in fear, we love in fear, and we embody fear before anything else; we allow fear to control our puppet strings.

What’s the Solution?

Don’t let anything stop you if what you feel you are doing is right. Don’t listen to others; don’t stay the same if you are unhappy. You are the only one who is with you 24 hours a day; it’s not about them.




Instead, move through this process:

First: Explore – What do I want?
Second: Realize that you are in a cycle
Third: Observe your behavior patterns
Fourth: Consciously create alternative reactions to the same situation.
The only way you can change your cycle is by 1) realizing you are in a cycle and 2) changing the ‘normal’ way you react to certain events.

If you are constantly fighting with your partner, what’s going to shift if no one in the relationship changes the way they react? It will always be the same. And it will never change until at least one person gains awareness into their own behavior.

Observe yourself.How are you reacting to this situation? What is your usual stance? How can you change this situation and in what direction do you want it to go? Ultimately, what do you want? In order to solve the cycle and the fight you also must know what you want. What are you trying to solve? Why are you fighting? What do you want to get out of it? What is it that you think the other can resolve for you?

Observe yourself. How are you reacting to this situation?
If you find yourself wanting a boyfriend or girlfriend, but are not receiving one, explore it. What kind of partner do you want? What qualities must he/she have? Write it down. Make things different than usual.

Then compare: what would you normally do when you find yourself wanting a partner? Do you talk yourself out of one? What are you wishing for and then what are you telling the universe? Observe yourself and your patterns.

Lastly:

Acknowledge your resistance to change is fear (among other reasons)
Release it
Make your plans and DO IT!
You know what makes you unhappy and only you can know what needs to change to make you feel joyous. If we don’t know what we want, we are living unconsciously. Things or events that we really did not want might surface; we become unhappy. There is no reason for this. We find our happiness by exploring who we are and what we want, period.

Fear not…make that change.


About the Author


Roya Daizadeh is a Women’s Empowerment and Relationship Coach. She has also been a special education certified teacher in Northern, CA and Los Angeles for the past 10 years. After helping a number of her female friends begin to cultivate a sense of empowerment and heal their lives, Roya Daizadeh became a certified holistic life coach through the AsOne Coaching program, and has never looked back. She is also currently attending JFKU, in Pleasant Hill, CA, working toward a Masters Degree in Consciousness and Transformative Studies. She can be reached at her website. www.royadaizadeh.com

Hello Everyone,

My blog on fear has just been revamped and published on www.holisticwithhumor.com
check it out.

http://www.holisticwithhumor.com/fear-factor-how-to-get-the-life-you-want

Christopher Pinckley is the Author of Reality Creation 101 and will be book signing as well as speaking at the Wholistic Arts Festival in Pleasant Hill, CA. this Sunday at 3:30p.m.

His lecture is entitled: "The Theory of Peace and An End to Suffering".

Mr. Pinckley has been an inspiration to me ever since I've read his book: Reality Creation 101. He writes on a personal level that many of us (although not male) can relate to. Poverty, unhealthy relationships, role-playing and belief systems. He brings in three easy-to-do, everyday techniques that will really nourish the soul and help you pin-point and manifest exactly what you want.
Although it has inspired me immensely, and I am female, I can't imagine what it would do if a boy or man read it. I know they would relate entirely. If you know of any males in need of some spiritual guidance...this is the book!!

You can find out more about him at: www.realitycreation101.com

Looking forward to seeing you there!!

http://www.wholisticartsfestival.com/

Weight 'issues' hit most of us in today's society; even when we are thin, we think we are fat. Food is looked at as the devil as we eat a 'treat' and 'be bad' for the day. So, now that we have partaked in the 'enemy,' we want to lose it.

Losing weight is more than just eating 'right' and eating 'less' and excercising more. Sorry. But, i'm so sad when I hear about women and their weight...It's so disempowering and victimizing.

A friend of mine wrote a letter to me asking me what I do to stay away from sweets and maintaining a diet as she is a yoyo-dieter. This is what I wrote to her:

Weight is one of my biggest focuses...for me and working with women in
general. I have been 'struggling' with my weight since I was born. I
was always told i was fat by my brothers and growing up i always had
bullies. even when i was thin, i was told i was fat and, more
importantly, i thought i was fat. I always had to fight off these
belief systems as well as my critic...it is very hard. The first thing
I had to do was realize that i am more than my weight. I also had to
be aware that I wasn't my thoughts...that it was my critic being hard
on me, not me being hard on me. I had to learn to love myself
regardless of what i look like, or what i thought i looked like. I had
to build confidence within my shell first and then allow it to emenate
outwards. many people believe the opposite...shed weight to love
yourself and then you can find a man or then you can do whatever. That
didn't work for me. whether skinny or fat i was taken advantage of and
that is b/c i simply didn't honor myself.

I had to create a new system of beliefs...new boundaries. I had to
shed my belief systems to learn who and what I really wanted to be.
This is very difficult. I am still working on it.

I would bring awareness into what you were taught about food and what
you were taught about image. I wish i could say that not eating this
or drinking that would be the answer. but it really goes back to
belief systems. were you taught to clean the plate? to not waste food?
to rely on your image? your looks? what is your relationship to food?
what are you really feeding when you eat? How do you feel when you eat
this or that? What are your thoughts upon buying ice cream or carrots?

also, in terms of nutrition, i don't believe in one size fits all. not
at all. every individual is completely different. grains and carrots
might sound good for some but it can be detrimental to others. be
intuned with your body when you eat. does starchy veggies process well
for you? do you feel bloated after eating rice? what about milk? What
is your association with sweets? what do you think of when you eat
them? do you feel guilty after eating ice cream? Do you berate
yourself when you eat chips? why?


I hope this will allow you to be aware of your thoughts, belief systems, and your critic. Please conact me if you would like me to help you or if you have any comments, I would love to hear them.

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to send you the link to my interview.

http://tinyurl.com/nqy737

If that doesn't work, try thhttp://docs.google.com/gview?a=v&pid=gmail&attid=0.1&thid=123255a9025d402a&mt=application%2Fpdfis:

i've attached it too.

Thank you all for your comments and best wishes. This is a very exciting time for me and it's nice to have supporters.

royad

Hello Everyone.
Just wanted to share that I am in the Iranian/Persian magazine called Javanan this week. They did an interview of me. For those of you who know it, I look forward to your comments. You can pick one up at any Persian store near you.
For those of you who do not have a Persian store and/or do not know Javanan I will post the link as soon as I get it.
I"m just excited, so wanted to share.

Boundaries

What are your boundaries? Do you have any? Have you ever thought about them?
I’ve been thinking about this, well, for years, actually; it’s just that I’m curious about them. I see and hear about so many women who are always so disappointed and discouraged about men and dating and their relationships. I’ve come to the conclusion that without knowing who we really are, what we really want, and why we want it = we are always in a state of upset.

I think back to the old school days; the days when tradition ran rampant. When kissing on the first date was a big deal. Remember 1st, 2nd and 3rd bases? Does that even exist any more? Or, do we just go straight for the gold? No ‘tease,’ lets just get straight to the point.

Or, remember hearing about men having to show up at the door to meet our families first? Having escorts around? As women, we were not to be alone with men. It was more respectable to have an observed courtship.

I understand the need to rebel that. Maybe we felt too confined; to smothered by our families. We wanted to feel rebellious and the feeling of conforming was not a volunteer effort. But, I wonder where we would be now had we kept those traditions alive. Would we be more respected by men? Would we have more respect for ourselves and our bodies?

Could we put more of a modern spin on old-school tradition and still hold our heads up high?

This is my feeling. I’m feeling the need to bring some of that tradition back. I’m feeling that the rebellion that has taken place for us to feel ‘free’ has really only brought on more pain and heartbreak. I see it and hear it everyday. You can read it in articles, books, internet, your friends; it’s ALL over the place. Women are sad, lonely, hurt, and empty.

I think the best medicine for this is prevention.

1)Learn who you are
2)Learn what you want
3)Learn why you want it

Upon going on a date with a guy, first ask yourself why you are even going out with him. What does he bring to the table for you? If it’s just that he is cute—please explore more why you are willing to meet with him; especially if you are looking for a partner to marry. It is a waste of your time to just ‘have fun’ if you are looking for a permanent mate. Save all your energy into finding your husband not hoping he’ll show up when you’re in bed with someone else.

Your boundries are set when you know what you want. You want to find your permanent partner then don’t screw the next guy that comes around. Don’t even kiss a dude b/c dinner was good. Make sure what you are showing the universe and what you are asking for is the same thing.

So, what are your boundaries and why should you have them? I feel boundaries are extremely important. You need to know exactly what you are willing to ‘put-up’ with. Not just in terms of sex, but verbal abuse, manipulation, control, intimacy…what is it you want in a partner and what are your boundries?

By knowing what you want and why you want it you will be less likely to be taken advantage of, you will be less likely to be manipulated, abused, hurt, shat on. Know what you are willing to work with and what has crossed your boundary. And if he has crossed your boundary you will have to speak up and simply say, “I do not like that.”

If you have been in a long term relationship and you didn’t know your boundaries before you started dating, then please explore them now. Think about what upsets you and why it upsets you. Is it because he has crossed a boundary and you don’t realize it? Think about it and don’t be afraid. Tell your partner that he has crossed a boundary and that that is not okay. Talk it out. (if he is non-communicative or doesn’t care about your boundaries, than reevaluate why you are really with this guy; It could be co-dependency and/or the fear of being alone).

What happened to us treating our bodies like they are temples? I feel like we are treating them like they are 7-11’s. Open 24 hours a day, dirty, and open for any and all. What’s wrong with loving ourselves again? What’s wrong with being with a truly sincere partner who wants ALL of us? The more I think about it, the more I want to go back to the ‘old-school’ way with a modern twist of course. Have our own opinions, thoughts and ideas; our own wants and desires but knowing our boundaries.- to keep more focused on who and what it is we really want.


*It is important for us to know that we are worthy; it is essential that we know we are deserving of the best possible partners for us. There is no need to settle as there is abundance in this world; you can have whomever you want-- You just have to believe it he is out there --- you have to embody the fact that you DO deserve him. Love yourself and your body. You are gold. You are special. Know this.*

The centipede was happy, quite
until a frog in fun said, "pray which leg comes after which?"
which raised her mind to such a pitch
she lay distracted in a ditch
considering how to run.

FEAR

What a scary word; I think of it and I cringe. It is because of this word that nothing ever changes. This word is the main reason why we stay in the same relationships, same patterns, same jobs, same everything. We fear, fear. It is scary and our pain-bodies love it!! As soon as we feel like we can change something our pain-body freaks out and says “oh, I don’t think so!! Feed me fear, I must stay with you. You cannot let me go.”

Fear inhibits us from moving forward; from being ‘risky.’ We were given a present from our families and friends and the media and this present is called fear.
“Oh, happy birthday LALA, here is my gift: it’s called fear. I have TONS of it and I shall now project (vomit up) all my fears onto you. Did you know that we are in a recession? Did you know that quitting your job now is the stupidest thing you could do? It doesn’t matter if you are ready to slit you wrist, keep on working at the job you hate, because otherwise you will end up a jobless, unpaid loser. You must play it safe at this time. Oh, yes, and I know he beats you, and cheats on you, but how are you going to support yourself on your own? Won’t you feel lonely? Are you sure you want to leave him? But, he’s so nice when I’m around…

Well, maybe I’m exaggerating on the last part…But, my point is simple. We live in fear, we love in fear, and we embody fear before anything else; we allow fear to control our puppet strings.

Solution:

1) Acknowledge your resistance to change is fear (among other reasons)
2) Release it
3) Make your plans and DO IT!!!

**Don’t let anything stop you if what you feel you are doing is right. Don’t listen to others; don’t stay the same if you are unhappy. You are the only one who is with you 24 hours a day; it’s not about them. You know what makes you unhappy and only you can know what needs to change to make you feel joyous. Go ahead…make that change. Fear not, my friends.

Roya Daizadeh
Relationship Coach for Women
www.royadaizadeh.com

Hello Friends,

An overview of what I do:

My name is Roya Daizadeh and I am a Relationship Coach for Women. My true passion springs from working with women, encouraging them to make conscious choices, and guiding them back to their inner power. My ultimate goal is for all women to obtain a healthy, joyous relationship with their partner by first embodying love, trust and appreciation within themselves. By connecting with themselves they would know better what they are really looking for in a partner.


I believe that by helping women find their true selves, they can then find their true partners. I would be able to offer excellent advice on dating while exploring the individual needs of the client.

Please let me know if relationship coaching for women would be of interest for you.

Roya Daizadeh
Relationship Coach for Women
www.royadaizadeh.com

External Validation

External validation is a phrase used when one relies on others to feel good. When you rely on someone else to tell you that you are pretty or smart or skinny (aware of this or not)-- this is external validation; feeling validation from others. And we start relying on others to tell us how we feel about ourselves at a very early age.

I remember when I was younger; my mom had a friend that would visit at least once a month. Each time she came over, I would be the one to open the door to let her in. And each time I opened that door I would know if I was fat or skinny. How? It went like this:

Visit 1:
Mom’s friend: Oh, Hi Roya. Looks like you lost some weight. You look great.
Roya: (feeling awesome) Oh, thank you.

Visit 2:
Mom’s friend: HI! How are you?
Roya: I’m good. Thanks. (guess I’m fat)

Visit 3:
Mom’s friend: HI. You’re looking a little slimmer.
Roya: oh, thanks. (still fat but my plan is working)

Visit 4:
Mom’s friend: HI Roya. (looks me up and down-no comment)
Roya: Hi, how are you? (fat again)

It went on like this for years. I knew that if I opened the door I would know if I lost or gained weight. It was that simple. If she said nothing, I know I gained. If she said I look thinner, I would feel good. The point here is not to tell you about my fluxuating body cycle, but that external validation starts early and with probably about every single person you come into contact with. It begins right when you are born.


EX: A baby girl has arrived. “oh, she is so pretty, so beautiful.” You tell the girl how pretty she is and how she will have boys lining up for her out the door. What a good feeling—to be liked by so many boys!
Each time you tell her how pretty she is, she feels good and comes to learn to expect you to say this when you see her again. So what happens when you don’t? What happens when you see this girl and just say “hi, how are you today?” What do you think she is thinking? She is thinking: since she didn’t hear how pretty she was from you than she isn't pretty anymore. Until she hears it somewhere else.


How is this related to relationships?
Relating this to relationships is especially easy. We rely on our partners to tell us that they love us every day. And, when they don’t say “I love you,” we freak out. We create so much drama out of it. We think “well, he used to say he loved me every day, now, it’s only 6 times a week. Something’s going on here.” What if your man hasn’t said you are pretty in like a week? Think about how you feel when you don’t hear a compliment from him in a few days. This is a huge problem; And words are a major part of this.

We rely on these words to make us feel good. When we don’t hear them, we freak out. Our critic comes out and yells at us that we should be doing this or that or eating this or not eating that and on and on.
I’m not saying to never hear comments or never give them but to feel the comments before they are said! Love yourself first, know that you are beautiful already, be aware of your unique qualities. No body can take that away from you.

In terms of relationships: it is NOT the man’s job to make you feel good about yourself. It is NOT his job to make you believe that you are beautiful or confident or smart.

If you are in a relationship and your partner has not told you he loves you in awhile- you must feel that he does. We rely on these words so much we expect them and instead ignore the love that is actually emitting from his body. Watch his actions, be aware of his energy. You know if he loves you. Stop feeling the need to hear it so much. The same goes for you. You know that you are beautiful; you do not need 50,000 men to tell you this… or do you?