Member Profile of ladygodiva

Hello,

I am new to this website and just checked in to the no more pity party website this morning. Your post caught my eye. First, let me say, how bravely you faced life's most difficult challenges - death- and illness. I know what loss and grief feel like myself. Several years ago I went through 5 years of loss blowing through my life at gale force. First, my beloved Father died, then my Step Father, then my best friend in all the world, my Mother. After, that loss my Brothers marriage of 28 years fell apart and with it my nieces and nephews and my sister in laws. My sister in law and I had been best friends or more like sisters for all those 28 years. Watching her go through this was heartbreaking. Then the unthinkable happened. My marriage of 30 years disintergrated. I had no idea what was happening to me. All around me was death and devestation. It was like looking at your life after a class 5 tornado touched down and there was nothing, nothing left but splinters. How do you put something like that back together again? The answer is you don't. But that took a while for me to come to that conclusion. There was no where left to rebuild. I had to find new ground.

Anyway, I saw in your post that you are done grieving. I would encourage you not to be so hasty in that decision. Your journey through loss only began in April. Be kind to yourself. Grief is not the same thing as being in a pity party. Grief, is the souls way of healing. I suspect the reason you went into the hospital with heart problems is because your heart was broken. All I can say is that a broken heart can only heal with much love. Especially, love of self. In my situation, for what ever reason, I was destined to experience loss on a level few have to go through. It was the beginning of a journey in learning to love myself and I am still on that journey.

I can so identify with what you are experiencing. I don't think the kind of loss you have experienced is something you get over in four months...........be gentle with yourself and allow yourself as long as it takes. That does not mean that you spend your days crying and being depressed. But, when your heart is full of tears - cry them. When your heart is full of anger and confusion let it out!

I don't even know you but somehow I feel like I do. We are sisters in this experience.

Jodi