How Parents Can Bring Out the Best in Their Children.

Most parents strive to do their best, yet sometimes they doubt their own ability; this is just the way life works, and the control center for this is the human brain. The brain is a magnificent thing. It stores absolutely every thought, experience and feeling we have, regardless of whether the thoughts are valid, the experience is positive or the feelings are productive. Actually, 75% of what is stored in the brain in the subconscious mind is counterproductive to us. Why on earth do we hold on to all this mess? Most of the time, we’re unaware of the subliminal, mind power that controls our lives and influences how we treat others, including the people we love most: our children. This negative static in our brain nudges the self-doubt we feel that keeps us from taking that step toward a better life. It is the basis for the unspoken fear that ends up being the burning pit in our stomach. As a result, we attract what we want to avoid in our lives, keeping us from living the best life possible and providing the best future for our children.

Much of this negativity comes from others, people in our lives that wanted to do what was best by correcting, instructing, or protecting us from perceived disappointment or at a time of danger. Who has not heard, “You’re just not good at____________.” Fill in the blank any number of ways or multiple times. The more we were programmed with that kind of talk, the more we believed it. The more we believed it, the more the mind made sure to make it our reality. Whether the statements were true or not is of no importance; your subconscious believed every word. In essence, how you feel about yourself is tied to the words and beliefs you hold about yourself, and someone else decided those thoughts and beliefs, for the most part. You have been programmed, just like a computer; your hard-drive has all the data of your life entered and saved ready to control and influence your destiny. No evaluation or analysis of the data. Click on save, and the rest is history.

Most people want to change all the negative static buzzing around in their heads; if they didn’t, the genre of self-help books, tapes and videos would be non- existent. So we tell ourselves we won’t think that way again or act in that reactive manner. We’ll be positive in all aspects of interacting with others and ourselves. The big problem is no one let the subconscious in on this decision. Every thought or experience that comes into the control center, the brain, is connected to something else that has already established residence. The brain connects all new information to known information about us. However, if there isn’t a match, the brain simply rejects this input. Sorry, this new, positive, proactive response doesn’t fit the mold, and off it goes.

We all want to provide our children with the best life possible. It would be unthinkable to consciously program our children for failure, but that is what sometimes happens. Because we live our lives on the automatic control of the subconscious, we do and say things that we always told ourselves we would avoid. We instill the “I can’t” mentality by telling our children of their perceived shortcomings. They in turn, grow up to believe all of this and reinforce it with the “I need to change” self-talk later in life.

All the negative, worn-out, useless and downright destructive self-talk that clutters your subconscious must be replaced with positive affirmations. This new programming will erase and replace the old negative program, and isn’t that what you wanted all along? We all have the option to tap into the best within ourselves, and in the process, support the best within our children. Learn to let go of what doesn’t serve you or those you love and replace this negativity with powerful words that will erase the self-criticism and help you to be the parent your children deserve.
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