When we are Selling, Sharing, Qualifying, Assisting a Prospect with a Decision or even Motivating a Coaching Client, our communication is filled with Subtleties.
Now, on a "Conscious Level" we use specific words to communicate a particular message. However, much our communication is Non Verbal and a lot of information is communicated on a "Sub Conscious level". But, I have also witnessed another form of communication that we
women use quite often. Let's call it "Un-Conscious" communication.
It's the things we say or do without even realizing it. A very common example of "Un Conscious" communication is frequently saying "You Know" while talking.
Ok, so here is the problem. While saying "You Know" may be irritating to the listener it does not really undermine our expertise or the message we intend to convey. But, there are several phrases that we use habitually that really work against us. They take away from our Authority, our Posture
and lessen our Credibility. Also, many times we "Un Consciously" blurt out statements totally unaware of their negative effect. By sending an "Un Conscious" message, we wind up "Planting Seeds" that actually "Undo" all that we've accomplished!
So, we must strive to understand the Psychological messages behind certain phrases and monitor ourselves in order to identify "Un Conscious" statements we make which reduce our effectiveness. Highlighted below are some "Seeds" that we really do Not want to Plant!
* We shouldn't habitually or automatically apologize. It makes us the psychological under dog. Save apologies for when mistakes are made. Otherwise the apology is
not genuine. Examples of apologizing without cause are a voice mail message that says, "I am sorry I am not available to take your call." Simple alternative voice
message is, "You have reached Anne at phone #_______. Your call is important, please leave your name and number and I will return your call ASAP." Another example:
saying "Sorry I didn't call you back sooner" when returning phone calls. The subconscious feeling underlying an apology puts you at a psychological disadvantage. Think about it. You shouldn't be sorry. You are busy because business is booming! That's Great!
So, when you return a phone call, simply say; "This is Anne, I am returning your call."
* We must Resist the urge to "Thank" everyone for their time. By "Thanking" the other person you imply they are doing you a favor by letting you talk to them. Psychologically
it reduces your Posture, Authority, Credibility and puts you on the Defensive. Depending on the situation, a more effective strategy is saying, for example, "It was a pleasure
speaking with you" or "Have a good evening" or "I look forward to meeting you". That puts you in the position to say "You are Welcome" when the Other Person says
"Thanks for your time"!
* Never ask the prospect "Is this a good time?" Asking the question Plants the Seed that it's Not a good time even if it is. So they say "No" and it's game over. So be
professional, introduce yourself and Assume it's a good time. Trust me people will always tell you if it's really Not!
An extremely Detrimental "Un Conscious" message or statement is "You do not need to make a decision at this time". This attempt to minimize the "pressure" actually confuses the decision maker. They get a Sub Conscious message that says; "There is a reason you should NOT make a decision"! Now they have more pressure because they are unsure about what to do. Decision makers need us to say… "This makes good sense so let's move forward"!
I am Anne Johnson, join me in the "Bold & Classy" Women Community, where you get access to 'Bold and Classy' selling tips!
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