I am so sorry you were violated. I also had a situation at previous employment where the owner of the business would follow me into the walk-in refrigerator, trap me in a corner and then kiss me, but could do nothing as I also am a single parent and needed the job. As well, he was the owner of this well known family owned business and I knew nothing would come of me telling. I quit that job but have since come to understand that men like this don't usually try this kind of stunt on just one woman. Frequently they will try to get away with this behavior many times. One suggestion (and I know this won't work in all situations) is to be vigilant and watch the perpetrator closely. Is he paying close attention to other women as well,? Are these women financially strapped, i.e. single moms, bread winner of the family, new to the work force, young and well intentioned, if so they may be going through the same harassment but are afraid to say anything and be embarrassed. If you feel this is the case, invite that person to lunch or to have coffee outside of the work environment and hint around the subject. This may be what it takes for her to open up. Remember there is always safety in numbers. If you know you are not alone then you are stronger and can pose a greater threat to the perpetrator.

Did you have any collaboration from other employees or ex-employees? Sometimes it is best to build a team to fight the offense. However, this is not much help for you after the fact. Hopefully you will never experience this again, but bullying and sexual harassment are on the rise in this country and it is a serious problem that causes lost time at work and mental anguish for the workforce that is suffering from these issues.

Please take care and I, for one, am concerned that you did not receive some type of compensation and some suggestions for private counseling. Sexual harassment is truly detrimental to an individual's work-life balance. The piece of paper is a notice that you won, but it does not stop your ex-boss from harassing another employee. I would hope that the company was fined and that he was at least written-up. Hostile work environments cost companies money because of the loss of employee commitment and the increase in turn-over. The company should have understood these costs to their bottom line from losing the court case. It is now on record that they have lost a sexual harassment suit.

I would love to have more discussion with you, and please join us at Life Balance under the Self-esteem and Empowerment communities.


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Carolyn J. Toth