Hi, my name is Deborah, and I am hoping to join you, and have you join with me, in supporting change for women around the world. The abuse of women has been an accepted practice for far too long. The negligence of women and children has perpetuated throughout history as men "do their thing" after they have children with women that they don't care for or support. This behavior has been accepted as part of our culture, especially when there is not a strong male "father" figure in the woman's household, since the beginning of the social structure. Women have had to be submissive and supportive of men, or be outcast or abused. This is not new, but it is now that we recognize that it is wrong, unfair, unjust and unacceptable. Not all men are dominant and controlling, but the ones who are have gotten away with it far too long. Some of my comments are blunt. I apologize if I offend anyone. I am emotional and frustrated with our so-called "justice" system. Please visit my facebook page and see the links that document what I am saying here, or send me email, and I will send you the links.

There is injustice in our court system as children are taken from their mothers and given to abusive or neglectful men. The judges seem to think, or their minds have been corrupted, that the women are lying, or that they somehow have done something that makes them unfit as mothers. So, for some unknown reasons, in this time in our history, judges see fit to give little babies and small children, even little girls, to men who have abused the women in their lives. This is like giving weapons to the enemy. The men who take the mothers of their children to court to take the children are usually seeking to control the women and make them submissive to their will. Normal men who are good fathers, good providers and good husbands, DO NOT DO THIS. They either work through the situation, whatever it is, with discussions and compromise. Only men who want to dominate and control women would go to the lengths that many of these men go to to take children from the women they have abused.

Some mothers have problems, some have issues, most of the ones that I've seen go through this process are hard-working, dedicated, loving and nurturing to their children. Some of them work two jobs to pay the bills while the men drink, party and run around with other women. These are not the "fatherly" type of men who work and support their families. These are the narcissistic, controlling men who want their women to stay home, clean house, keep their mouths shut and give them what they want, when they want it. This, IMHO is typical of the abusive, dominant male who takes children away from their mothers.

Why doesn't the court have men who are trying to take children from their mothers investigated and evaluated before they give little children to them? In most cases the mothers have been the primary caregiver of the children, and in many cases they have also been the main provider of the basic needs of the child, or children. How, then, do these men take these children without going through some type of process, all they have to have is money and an attorney, and the court just accepts that they are fit, and their cause is just? There is definitely a serious problem with our "justice" system when it comes to family law.

This is my opinion, but it is only the tip of the iceberg. I have begun my own journey through this process as a grandmother who needs her grandbabies back in my life. I have begun a campaign called WALK TO WASHINGTON FOR MOTHERS' RIGHTS, and I hope to begin my walk from central Florida before Mother's Day, 2010. I am looking for other women, mothers, grandmothers, daughters, sisters and brothers, fathers and husbands or women who have been abused or who are fighting the court system to regain custody of, or access to their children. This country allows WAY TOO MANY children to be taken from their mothers either by Child "Protective" Services, Departments of Children and Families or other so-called "family support services" that take children from poor, working mothers and give them to adoptive parents or men who don't want to pay child support, but who will pay for lawyers to take childrne away from their mothers. In many cases it is the man's family who pays for the attorney, or it is the "family" attorney, and the family of many of these men support them, pay their bills and take care of them financially - which is what THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING FOR THE WOMEN WHO HAD THEIR CHILDREN.

If men are going to have children, they should SUPPORT THEIR CHILDREN, nurture their children and care for their children and their mother, BEFORE THEY ARE ALLOWED VISITATION OR CUSTODY! Men who have never provided for their children, or the mother of their children, SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TAKE THE CHILDREN FROM THEIR MOTHERS. Especially after the mother has to file for CHILD SUPPORT and the state has to order paternity to make the man be responsible for the care and welfare of the child(ren)

I would like to propose legislation that prohibits this act of going to court for custody, or even visitation, by men who have NEVER SUPPORTED THEIR CHILDREN. Before any visitation or custody is granted, a man must spend as much time and money caring for the child and the mother, as the mother, or the state has already spent for the duration of the child's life, including at least 7 months of the pregnancy. A man that was not there for the pain and discomfort that a woman goes through to carry a child for nine months, and the birthing process, and the changing of diapers, the feedings, the sleepless nights, walking for colic, rocking for comfort and nurturing for peace of mind - SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED VISITATION until he has had SUPERVISED VISITATION and training equal to the time the child has been alive. No man should be able to take a child from it's mother, for any reason, if he has not already participated and practiced being the FATHER of the child.

Genetics does not make a man a father.

I am a grandmother who has lost her grandchildren to abusive men with money who don't work, don't pay their own bills, didn't pay their own lawyers and NEVER SUPPORTED MY DAUGHTER OR MY GRANDCHILDREN since they were born. I was the other primary caregiver, I was the other parent. I was the other nurturing, caring, loving, supporting party in this relationship with these children. I spent all of my savings and every cent I made being there for my daughter and grandchildren when the fathers of the children did not provide for them, support them or take care of them. I am a grandmother in Florida, and I have NO RIGHTS. This is another thing that is wrong with our system. If my daughter and I were the only ones who EVER TOOK CARE OF THESE CHILDREN, I should have the rights to access to the children as the other primary caregiver, not MEN WHO HAVE LET THE STATE PAY FOR THE BIRTHING, MEDICAL BENEFITS AND FOOD AND SHELTER FOR THESE CHILDREN. I am the one who has been there for them every day, every night while my daughter worked, sometimes two jobs, doing without things for herself so the kids could have what need. We are the PARENTS of these children, and we should have more rights than men with money and lawyers!

I would like to be joined by other women who need help getting their children back from the system. Please contact me on my facebook or my email and let me know if you can join me on my WALK TO WASHINGTON FOR MOTHERS' RIGHTS. Help me develop legislation and expectations to protect children from men who abuse women, neglect them and take advantage of the fact that they are physically weaker, and have fewer rights in our legal system. Let's change the laws, change the courts and change the way we think about the way women, mothers, should be treated, and help get children back to their mommies, before any more of them die at the hands of their "fathers."

Bless you all, my best to you and your families.

love to all!

lonelynanna in florida
lovingnanna in florida

deborah

Thank You for the links on the treatment of our women troops. I will certainly be looking into them. It is incredible that our own female troops should have to live in fear of being raped by their own fellow troops and being killed by the enemy. I see this as a much larger anti-women's rights movement. Nothing offical, no government office of "Let's Put Women Back In Their Place."

I sense an over all and growing Neo-misogyny that allows more and more abuse, from so called music that talks about women in a manner no human being should ever have to endure,

( I'm not just alking about rap music, a lot of rock music is pretty bad too, some of the things I have heard in these song, well, nuff said.)

. . . to stand up "comics" who make remarks' about women they never would have gotten away with a couple of decade ago, and call women obscene names.

And the men and women in the audience laugh and clap as if this were just so cute and funny. Seen Jim Norton. Again, this, um, individual, spent 45 minutes being "cute and funny," saying things about women that literally made me sick at my stomach. I don't mean figuratively, I mean violently ill. Some say, just turn it off, but IMO, ignorance cannot equal bliss.

One good note, last time I saw this "man," he was all apologetic, and pretending to be confused as to why he'd gotten so much bad feedback.

Jeepers, dude, can't image why degrading half the human race should get anyone upset.
Haven't had the displeasure of ever seeing him again after that "apology."

This neo-misogyny started with verbal attacks on women and is working it's way into schools, the work place, the talking heads on TV news, and it all contributes to justify verbal, physical and sexual abuse of women and girls. We are going backwards.

WHERE IS THE RAGE THAT SET MY GENERATION ON, FIRE AND DID SO MUCH TO GAIN RESPECT FOR WOMEN AND GIRLS FOR DECADES?!?!?!?!

I had really thought we had won so many battles we will now have to fight again, just to be treated like equal human beings. It's very sad. Very frustrating.

See, I've gone and gotten angry again.

On a thread about staying positive in the face of injustice.
Sorry about that.
I'm trying so hard to stay positive, but sometimes . . . . well. I'm sure a lot of others know what I mean.

Maybe sometimes a little anger is a positive thing. hmmmm, that's a thought.


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To the wrongs that need resistance, To the right that needs assistance, To the future in the distance, Give yourselves.
Carrie Chapman Catt

Hi Beverly, thanks for your input. I am very interested in the sexual abuse of our nation's female troops. Maybe this should be one of the topics we should work on first. Any information/data that you can send me, via message for email, could be cut and pasted onto the site. I would like to make this one of the issues we do the info-email on.

For anyone interested in joining our community, the plan is to share information about the issues of violence against women and girls.

Since our media does not cover issues of violence against women and girls, with the exception of a couple of news shows that only cover well known crimes like "Nancy Grace," our community will use the internet, with each member sending out a few emails to people we know, and asking these people to do the same. It will work like chain mail on the internet, and if people follow through, and really, how hard is it to send out emails, then we could really get a lot of otherwise ignored information in the hands of those who care about these issues.

It's just one idea of many, but we are new and just getting started.

By the way, I will absolutely write and tell everyone what my young friend tells me about conditions for women in Afghanistan.
A true first hand report.

I also hope that he will be home soon, and that he wont be too changed by what he is going through now. He is, luckily, a mechanic, and so stays on the base most the time, but I would assume he sees a lot of what goes on there nonetheless.
Thank you for your concern for him. He really is an amazing young man, one who really cares about women.


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To the wrongs that need resistance, To the right that needs assistance, To the future in the distance, Give yourselves.
Carrie Chapman Catt

Hello BraveHeart Sisters. I am Ulyssa, and I have recently taken a huge step of faith in beginning a community here among other brave and caring women of the world. My community is called . . .

Working to End Violence Against Women and Girls.

I would have included "worldwide" in the title, but ran out of space. I have a deep interest in women, our history, and what is going on with women all around the world today.

I'm writing to invite other women interested in these issues to join my/our community. It is here in the Global Contributions board.

I want to try to network, and spread the word among women everywhere, and men too, about the awful conditions so many bravehearted women are living under. I want to find women who will help in this effort via the internet. Things like sending emails to friends and family about these issues, or going onto chat lines, political boards, or contacting our national and world leaders to ask that they take notice of these issues and do something to help end the suffering of women and girls everywhere.

I want to keep this as positive as possible, and to work with already standing organizations involved with these issues.

It can get very depressing, seeing so much suffering, and it's easy to give in to the frustration and rage that any modern woman would feel when we see our sisters living in nations where they are still held hostage in the dark ages.

I have a tendency to get angry and that anger may have come across in some blogs I post, but I will work very hard to keep this a community of positive and giving energy.

I also want to tell you about a young man, 19 yrs old, who I love as if he were my own son. This amazing young man has, against my pleas. joined the military.

He wanted to go to Afghanistan because he wants to free the women of Afghanistan from the brutal and crushing rule of the Taliban. I pray for his safety, and am in awe of his courage. If only we had more young men like him in the world.

He is now serving in Afghanistan.

This spurs me on to join him in his courage, so I began the community, flying blind and on a wing and a prayer. I hope that you will join me. Your input, your thoughts and feelings, are very welcome in this community.

Or if you choose not to join, that you will take the time to visit the community form time to time to read about women's issues around the world, and what is being done, and what you can help with. As the saying goes . .

If not me, who? If not now, when?

May peace be within you, and within all our fellow bravehearted women and men around the world.


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To the wrongs that need resistance, To the right that needs assistance, To the future in the distance, Give yourselves.
Carrie Chapman Catt