I also used to be really shy and always wondered, do "they" really like me? Are they just being nice? Am I really OK?

When I was in my thirties, yeah it took that long, I was in a place where I felt that I was just not liked by anyone. I was pitiful in my efforts to make friends, only to be snubbed.
Oh, the Susan Haywardness of it all!

So I gave up trying to please everyone and was just my own imperfect, fairly goofy self. I just took the attitude, you don't like me, your loss. It was strange, but that's when people suddenly started liking me. I became very popular (ooooh, one of the in crowd at last!) and I have made friends easily since then.

IMPORTANT NOTE!
Here's something I did learn through the years If you want make a friend, it's really important that you like the people you are befriending, and let them know it.

People are all pretty much the same, we all want to be liked and accepted. Let the people you want to befriend know that you are interested in them. Ask them about themselves, even a "how ya doing," to break the ice.

Let them know you really think highly of them, and care about them and what they are going through, or what's good going on with them. Most people will not only want to be your friend, they will really like you.
Really, really like you.

I'm not talking about pretending to care, you have to be sincere. Just look people right in the eyes, know that, deep down, we are all insecure and fragile, and listen as much as you speak.

IMPORTANT NOTE #2, from old blowhard.
Listening is all important in making friends. People want to tell you about themselves, and I find people endlessly fascinating. People are complex, and we each have our own story. Our own take on things. I've learned that you really can't judge a book by it's cover.

Sometimes the quietest person in the room has the most interesting thoughts. Yeah, the quiet one in the corner, the one kinda like . . . . you.

Self confidence helps a lot. Remember, they are just human beings too. No better. Flawed and possibly far more intimidated than you know. Yeah, intimidated. By you!
Reach out, but as an equal. And don't be afraid to make a joke at your own expense. This really makes people relax around you. Don't take yourself too seriously.

One secret of mine. If you are feeling nervous, tell people that. Confess! It's not all that awful to be nervous. People in social situations are probably feeling exactly what you are. I've found this really cuts the ice with people.
Now you have something in common all ready! And someone else will probably confess next, and you got conversation.

FINALLY ( applause, applause )
If someone doesn't like you, get over it.
Not everyone you want to be friends with will respond to you, no matter how hard you try. But the world it full of people. Move on. They're probably not worth the effort anyway. Some people will not like you because you remind them of someone else they didn't like, so don't take it personally.
Oh, and some people are just jerks who like to play little social games. Flee!

DON'T LET IT GET TO YOU IF SOMEONE DOESN'T LIKE YOU.

SOMEONE ELSE WIILL. I PROMISE!!!!!!


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To the wrongs that need resistance, To the right that needs assistance, To the future in the distance, Give yourselves.
Carrie Chapman Catt

Hello fashion, your smile radiates warmth and sincerity. Some people appreciate a great smile. I feel that a smile is a reflection of who you are. From your smile I get that you are a kind, sincere and a compassionaite person.

Start by being the person "you" love to be around, everyone else will follow. Once you feel comfortable being with yourself, everything else will fall in. Live in the moment, experience life without judgement or anticipation. Learn to quite your mind through meditation and just experience life as it comes. See the joy in everything. Start with this and you'll see that things will change for you.

Namaste

Lightray wrote:

> Hi fashion. Well, first of all, not everybody is going to love you. But for those people worth getting to know, just be yourself. LOVE yourself. As long as you are being kind, it doesn't matter what other people think. And smile. A genuine smile accompanied by eye contact is very powerful. If after trying these simple hints, you're still not getting the desired reaction, maybe you are hanging out at the wrong places. Maybe it's time investigate other interests. Or possibly you need to ask yourself what it is you REALLY want.

Powerful!!!! A definite ray of light...


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Be. Create. Collaborate.

i used to be center of attiention now i cant get anybody to look myway because nobody wants to be bothered because im either afraid of what their going to say or wat their actions is going to which brings my confident down alot i wana be the person every body loves being around nd just dont wana go home because they love my intertanment i just dont know where to start


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finding myself!!!