Hello, I'm brand new to this site as well. I'm brand new to all of this actually. I've never posted anything personal online before (not even on facebook) and I'm a little nervous but I don't have anywhere else to turn.
I'm broken hearted and keep getting heart broken on a weekly basis. My ex-husband and I were legally divorced almost 3 years ago after only being married for 2 years, however, we never truly broke up except for short periods of time here and there.
The thing is, I want very much to be a family again (we have one child, a son) but my ex just doesn't seem to be on the same page that I am. For a long time we lived in different cities and saw each other when we could and then when we did live in the same city, we both were stayimg with our parents.
Well, I recently moved into a little apt with my son, hoping it would be the beginning of a new life for us. But my ex seems to think he can come and go as he pleases, never telling me where he's going, what he's doing or with whom, or when/if he's coming back. He goes out and does stuff and never invites or includes me. He doesn't tell me anything about his life and he doesn't seem at all interested in mine.
And he's been doing this for almost 4 years. Vanishing for days or weeks at a time and then popping back up like nothing ever happened, Or he'll be ugly to me, leave, ignore me and my every attempt to reach him, and then pop back up like nothing even happened. No apology, nothing.
And the worst thing is that everytime I try to talk to him about any of this he just gets mad at me, is mean to me, leaves, and is gone for days again. Then pops back up. And I just keep letting him do this to me b/c I don't want to be without him. But I don't want this either and I don't know how to stop it. I feel like a fool 99% of the time, but I keep letting him in.
Can someone out there help me, please?

Oh, how I can relate to your pain! It has been a year and a half I have been divorced, 2 yrs separated. It was his choice. We went to counseling too but he hated it and that's when he said he didn't want the marriage anymore....after 8 yrs. I thought i would die. Never had I felt so destroyed, damaged, empty and sad.

He left the house and I walked around in a daze. I was laid off the same week this happened....so double whammy! I had suicidal thoughts....a lot. There was an inner strength, though, that took over and slowly...very slowly, I managed. I joined support groups and I let the grieving take its course.

I learned we are resilient even if we feel we aren't. We have the power to change our lives even if it takes a while. We have the power to heal and in our own timing.

Be gentle with yourself and remember you're not alone. I wish you all the best.

I'M SORRY TO HEAR YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THIS BUT WHAT HELPED ME GET THROUGH THINGS WAS READING A BOOK CALLED THE SECRET BY RHONDA BYRNE. IT HELP ME BETTER MY RELATIONSHIP AND MOVE FORWARD AND WE ARE VERY HAPPY NOW. KEEP A POSITIVE OUTLOOK AND JUST KNOW THAT THINGS WILL WORK THEM SELVES OUT. THINK ABOUT THE THINGS YOU DO WANT AND NEVER THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DON'T WANT. I NEVER USE THE WORDS I DON'T WANT OR I CAN'T!!! TRY READING THIS BOOK AND SEE HOW DIFFERENT YOUR LIFE WILL BE IF YOU READ IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN. THERE IS EVEN A PART IN THEIR ON RELATIONSHIPS. KEEP YOU HEAD UP AND STAY STRONG!!!