I just signed up on BraveHeartwomen. My life drastically changed when my husband left me for his adultress.
I felt, like all of you, levels of betrayal and disrespect, that I never imagined possible. I thought I knew my husband
It didn't just break my heart, but my very soul, was destroyed as well. I lost my life, as I knew it. Nothing mattered to me.
I still have self esteem issues and have to wipe tears away, 2 1/2 years later. But, my friends all tell me I am getting stronger. They have been my blessings from God.
Healing a broken heart, is difficult. While many do not equate divorce to death, the grieving still occurs. The lost of love, trust and self esteem that occurs when one is betrayed im marriage, is extremely painful to live with. So, know that we who have been there, do understand your pain.
Now, the question is presented to me, what should I do with this pain; bury it, feel it, regress, learn from it, become paralized from it, thrive because of it and inspite of it? I have done all the above in this 2 1/2 year journey. It is a long hard journey.
We all know that in the end, we must find our way back to strength, joy, love and peace.
I am hoping to find sisters that can support each other, and help me grow into my new life. I am ready to spread my wings, I am just not sure how to yet.

The truth is that this can go either way. You all can split or stay together. But the thing you need to figure out is what would be best. You may need to start by getting away from him to think about everything. I think no matter what situation you are in, good or bad, that God is trying to tell you something. Ask God what do I need to get from this pain? Pray for strength and if you do not feel complete without him then that is something you need to work on too. Whether you stay or leave you need to use this situation to become a better woman. And I believe the pain will make you stronger as much as it may hurt. It will be ok honey. Know thyself, love thyself in a new way and know the universe in a new way. You are going to make it.

> Hi Ladies,
> I have been married for 41 years to the same man. I thought we had a good relationship, but 3 months ago I found out that he has been having affairs for the last 12 years. I have never felt such pain, and I am having problems moving forward. I don't know what to do at this point. I am an emotional wreck. Has anyone of you gone through something like this, and how did you cope? I would appreciate hearing about your experience, and how you were able to deal with it, and to move on.
> Thank you so much,
> Victoria

I am sorry for your painful experience. Try locating a church that you feel comfortable with. It will help you overcome your loneliness. They may have support groups that will provide additional help.

God bless,

Loving Lady

Hi Victoria,
I am going through something similar to you. I truly feel, like you are going to go through pain, even where you can feel it with in your body. Still, you must find a place in your heart to forgive him. I am battling this myself, but for you to be at peace with yourself, you will have to forgive him. That is how you will truly be able to move on, and be really happy again.

Don't forget you and only you have to meke the choice to whatever you choose to do, it won't be easy but what in life is, keep your head up and stay in prayer and keep your faith...

Hello Vicky

I am sorry to hear about your situation
and though I can not compare to what has happen to you, I can compare to the pain you are going through. The trust that you have had all this time with him has been but a lie, and to know this, you must be thinking, what else has been?

I have been you my husband 26 years and the mental abuse has broke my heart over and over again. I honestly do not know why I do not get the strength to pull myself away from this relationship. I guess when you become so depend on that person it is hard. My emotions are raw and I am to the point where I don't care anymore.

I am doing for me (and my children) I am going to be a successful woman. I am not going to let him control my goals which is to be a successful business woman. The more I let go of his wants and needs and pay attention to my own, I get stronger and stronger. I keep a positive attitude and do things that I enjoy.

Good Morning……….

Yes it is a good morning. Every morning is a good morning. Get up and smile. Be a proud BraveHeart woman for everything you have accomplished in your life. Your husband is not the reason for living.

Let me begin with saying. I am 100% better off because my husband had an affair and left me. Forty years ago when it happened I would never have said that.

At the time all my trouble begin I was a 27 years old married with one son age one. We had been married for seven years. My husband was in the Army and gone a lot. During the seven years we had been married he had been away from home for two years to Viet Nam and other distant places. I was left to take care of the home front.

One day when I went to the mail and I received a letter from ‘your anonymous friend’ telling me about an affair my husband was having in Texas. He was in TX attending a school for several months.

Boy was I surprised. I knew my marriage was not perfect, but I had no idea he would have an affair. I called him. He said it was not true. He returned home and three days after his return we separated. He later married the woman he was having the affair with.

That was almost 40 years ago. It took me a long time to recover, but I did. I had great friends and a young son to take care of. I was single for 18 years between my first marriage and my second marriage. Thank goodness I did not marry a couple of men I was dating during that time. I would have been divorced again.

I met my current husband 22 years ago on a bus stop. He is the best thing that could have happened to me. We now have five grown children between us and six grandchildren.
I have learned more about life and seen more of the world than I would have had I still been married to my first husband.

We decided two years we wanted to see the world, so we sold our home. The house was too large for us. For the last two years we have been traveling the US up and down the east coast camping, house sitting and visiting family and friends. It has been wonderful.

If I were still married to my first husband I would be watching soap operas or dead. Forty plus years ago my first husband and I drove from Fairbanks, AK to Norfolk, VA in 7 days without stopping to see anything.

What I am saying is “Yes, it is sad and it hurts to be in your place, but you are in control of the outcome. Stand up and show him and yourself the great woman you really are.”

Linda Baccus


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Linda Baccus

Hello Kate,
Thank you for your post, it feels good to know that there is support out there.
No we are not divorced, we are still trying to work it out, but I cannot trust him. He also says he loves me, but not in love with me. He is not attracted to my body, I only weigh 120 lbs. so I don't know where this is going. Its one day at a time.
Vicky