Back in the 1980's I married a man who, on the surface, was a loving and generous person. Within hours of the "I Do's" he became violent with me by slapping me for not 'getting him a beer'. After a few months of "I'm sorry" and "I didn't mean it" those words stopped coming, but his abusiveness got worse. His abuse was not limited to slaps and kicks or verbal onslaughts of demeaning and hurtful words. It became a constant threat to my world, my friends, my family.

The day I walked into my job with a broken nose was the day I realized that eventually he would kill me - if I stayed. But where was I to go since my friends and family had all been alienated?

I began looking for a place to go, somewhere safe, but there were no women's shelters where I lived, the police didn't want to get involved in 'domestic disputes,' I had no money (he controlled that), and felt as though there was nothing I could do. Trapped like an animal in a cage.

Then one night he came in from work, drunk and angry. I had, and still have, no idea what he was angry about. It didn't matter. I became his punching bag, his dog to kick, his release from whatever had angered him. He stuck a shotgun in my mouth and told me to pull the trigger - which I refused to do. So he continued to beat me until I was no longer able to defend myself at all, then threw me into the snowy winter night with no shoes, coat, purse, or keys, to freeze to death while he watched a football game.

I literally crawled to a neighbors house up the hill (300 yards) and had her call the police. When they, and the ambulance, arrived my husband was no-where to be found.

I got angry. Angry that he could do this to me, angry that I'd allowed it to go on, angry that the police wouldn't help, angry that there wasn't a 'safe' place for me to go, angry that no help was available for me and other women that were the victims of such despicable behavior by someone who claimed to love them.

I hired an attorney - walked into his office assisted by crutches with my broken face and body and told him I wanted to press charges for attempted murder. He took one look at me and agreed to take the case, even though none had ever been successfully prosecuted in my area. Usually the women victims were intimidated by their spouse, or forgave them for the abuse out of fear. Fear was not my problem, Anger was.

Not only did I file a civil suit against him, but the state filed federal and state suits as well. All of the attorney's were afraid that I would be intimidated and back down, but I was too angry. I brought them evidence of the beatings, his illegal activities, and prior complaints against him for abuse.

I won the civil suit, the state won their prosecution and the federal case as well. He got to spend the next 5 years in prison, and 5 years following his release on probation. He was forced into rehabilitation for his alcoholism, drug abuse, and violent tendencies.

As a result of my case New Laws were written in the State of Missouri to protect women (and children), provide them with safe refuge, legal counseling and emotional counseling. My attorney set legal precedence based on my case, which has been used throughout the United States to prosecute violent offenders.

I have no regrets for myself. What I do regret is that so many women allow themselves into these situations without realizing what could happen to them and their children. But one thing I do know now... there are people to help, and safe places to go for those in need of them.

My advice to anyone living in an abusive situation... open the phone book and find "Women's Shelters" and get thee to one NOW. Do not wait until he kills you because eventually HE WILL KILL YOU. Get some counseling to determine WHY you look for this type of man and change yourself accordingly. It can be a daunting task, but it CAN be done - and YOU are worth it!


--
Blessings,

Kim
"TheUncAnnie1"

Kathryn Tull became a brave woman and got out of her
abusive marriage. Many years ago marriages were arrainged by parents, and many parents also were in
abusive relationships themseles. That is where you
made your bed, you lie in it came from. There were
no protection for woman. Remember for a long
time this was a mans world in every way. We also
today have abusive woman who abuse there husbands.

I truly believe stronger laws must be put in place. Most
of the laws we have in place does not hlep those being
abused. Getting a protection order that the abuser must
not go near the abused is very hard to keep. At times
the Police get to an apartment to late, and the abuser
has killed the woman he was supposed to love.

I know of a woman, becuase her family was not
careful enough her husband found where she was staying
at. He followed her from the shelter to the subway station and killed his wife. 3 children were left without parents,
and luckily the parents and relatives took in the children
to raise. In any abusive relationship, all must be very
careful.

For the woman that wanted to know who does the homes
for those in need, it is Habatat for Humanity, American
Vista Corps which is a Governement Agency would help
you to either find on in your area, or help you and those
in the community start one.

Our Prayers go to Katheryn Tull, and all those in an abusive relationship. May God give them the strength
to tell someone that will help them go to the right agency.

Sincerely,


--
Ann Nanni
ananni1@comcast.net

Kathryn~ I was battered at age 19-22, horrific ending but I never really had it in perspective until about 4 years ago when a new friend saw through his evil plot when I told her my story~ She said "Oh My God~ he was going to kill you!!" I never thought of it that way and to this day I am thankful for my mothers prayers, and many others who prayed for my safety. I am now 49 and after numerous failing relationships where I chose men who were my lessors and only found more heartache and despair, but luckily I had enough sense to say no more and leave... now single at almost 50 I have chosen to find my soul mate by making sure he is my EQUAL!, a man who loves animals, loves life, loves himself and most important is my equal in things we like to do together and is financially sound. Yes I have a "criteria" now. For all the women who are out there who have chosen the "bad boy" or a man(or woman) who is lesser than themselves, please stop!! I was very lucky for having the parents I did, for the many people that only God could have put in place during this horrific time in my life and for my many friends along lifes journey who had compassion to understand. It took me over 7 years to even speak about this to anyone...so many times I wanted to give a testimony in my church but couldn't for fighting the tears ~, even as I do right now.

For any man or woman who is in a physically abusive relationship please waste no time...do not worry about money that is the least of your worries... forget your pride and leave!!!!! I can not say this strongly enough... if you have no family or home to go to you need to find a temporary safe house especially if you are afraid for your self , your children or even the friends or family you may think maybe an option to run to... a shelter is the safest place in the beginning!! For any man or woman who is with a person who says they will kill them, BELIEVE IT!!! THEY EVENTUALLY WILL!! I read an article in a magazine of a girl whos either boyfriend or husband said he would kill her.... well he did try but she miraculously survived being shot in the face by him... these were also her words... I wish I could reference the magazine and the author but I can not.

Kathyrn~ I know you are reaching out to the masses of battered people and certainly have made a tremendous effort to heal~ not only your own self esteem but also to enlighten those who don't realize the danger they are in. Thank you so much for your diligence in getting educated and turning your pain into becoming a source of strength and hope ~ A True Braveheart Woman~ where you are sharing that knowledge and helping other battered persons to come to the light of understanding and finding a way out~ a way home~ to loving themselves first.

I am also looking forward to reading your book. One day I may write my own. (Still, just too complicated and painful at the moment.)

Highest Regards to you Kathryn!
Many Blessings~ Pamela

what a marvelous topic,once we learn to let go and let god,thats a big lesson in life,you go girl,bravo !

> > > > > Please Thank The Brave Kathryn Tull for being an Inspiration to us and many others....
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Thank You Kathryn for taking 'The Next Bold Step".
> > > > >
> > > > > I Value and Honor you.
> > > > >
> > > > > with Love,
> > > > >
> > > > > Ellie
> > > >
> > > > With love and commitment to you too!!
> > > >
> > > > Kathryn
> > >
> > > Thank you Kathryn May your journey be blessed!
> >
> > Thank you for being in the discussion! I hope to hear from all of you!
>
> Thank you Kathryn for sharing your thoughts with us. I know you have given hope to so many women through this discussion. When there is hope there is life.
> Much love
> Audie Perove
> Kids and Pets community

Thank you Audie. I Am a pet lover myself. I Have a Boxer named Apollo and a cat named Farroh who think they are brothers!

> > > > Please Thank The Brave Kathryn Tull for being an Inspiration to us and many others....
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Thank You Kathryn for taking 'The Next Bold Step".
> > > >
> > > > I Value and Honor you.
> > > >
> > > > with Love,
> > > >
> > > > Ellie
> > >
> > > With love and commitment to you too!!
> > >
> > > Kathryn
> >
> > Thank you Kathryn May your journey be blessed!
>
> Thank you for being in the discussion! I hope to hear from all of you!

Thank you Kathryn for sharing your thoughts with us. I know you have given hope to so many women through this discussion. When there is hope there is life.
Much love
Audie Perove
Kids and Pets community


--
Strengthening the future generation

> Dr. Kathryn,
>
> Thank YOU for your words of Wisdom & Inspiration...
>
> With Love & Gratitude,
>
> Bell

You are so welcome Gentle Warrior!!

Hi Linda,
I know that feeling myself. You saw in the interview how the tears still come for me at moments. What strength it takes to heal that much!! I Am so happy for you
Each of us can inspire another to learn to value herself, and perhaps even help her heal. Share your smile with another - it may be the light of her day that day.