"To Each His Own" Episode One Hundred Twelve

Welcome to Honor Your Truth

The “Is It True?” Series Episode One Hundred Twelve

“To Each His Own”

Some people like ketchup, some people don’t. I am aware of that. If I use ketchup at all, I mix it with hot sauce. If there is no hot sauce available, I’m not going to use ketchup. It is way too sweet for me. While some may relate, others may think it strange or even go so far as to call it gross. It seems the more unique something is, the more extreme the reaction to it. Good and bad.

I get some absolutely heartless and mean comments on YouTube. I never talk about it because I don’t want to bring any additional energy to it. I don’t respond to them although at first I had to hold myself back. I wanted to say how much it hurts and then defend myself in some way. I do realize that someone who takes the time to write such things does not care about my feelings. My response would only prove that it worked… mission accomplished. I feel bad about myself.

Sure. Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me. However, the truth is they do and I’m not going to beat myself up even further for letting them. I’m not going to say “I shouldn’t let it bother me” and so on. This will only further strengthen the argument within… something is wrong with me. “I should” have a thicker skin. Whenever I find myself saying “I should”, I stop and say “I choose” and fill in the blank.

I choose to continue to create despite the comments I read, but it isn’t always easy. However, there is no other choice if I want to survive. I am talking about this because I have been hearing this statement more than ever recently. “I wish I could…” The conversation is always about something a person wants to do but they are afraid. They talk in a way that implies I must have no fear, that it is somehow easier for me. They wait for the day that they won’t be afraid, when it will make “more sense”, when their "ducks are in a row." They wait for the perfect time that never comes. Worse yet, they give up on the idea entirely.

I know because that’s what I did. I almost died. It was a slow and painful blackening of my spirit. Just before the light went out, I woke up. I realized that we only get one life and this was mine. I realized mine was passing me by and that I would not live forever... a fact I tried to ignore and hoped would go away. I had to face that fact and ask myself what I wanted to do while I was here.

I wasn’t doing it.

The answer came to me in an instant when I asked myself the question, “what is the one thing, having done it, will give me the most peace?”

So I write and I feel better…it’s that simple. And when I read a comment like, “idiot” or "no one would care if you died” or, “crazy b---h” or, “lock her up”, I delete it. Believe me it can get worse and does. In fact, the more the views, the more the negative comments. I kind of feel wimpy for deleting them but I don’t want my loved ones to have to read them. Other sites are different but I cringe when I see an email from YouTube “comment posted on…” I get a few nice ones but many more are from mean energy vampires.

You may ask, “well then why on earth do you keep posting?” I do it for the people who tell me I have helped them in some way…and because I have no other choice. I Honor My Truth!

Love

Debra
The Honor Your TruthCommunity


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Debra Hadraba
The Honor Your Truth Community